How to Heal a Broken Heart in 10 Easy Steps

So maybe this article is a little misleading—there’s nothing easy about having your heart broken, but there are definitely ways you can speed up the healing process so you can move on with your life.

1. Let yourself grieve It sucks and it’s going to suck for a while. You’re going to dwell on all the happy memories and you’re going to mourn all the experiences you didn’t get to have together. You will cry your eyes out, listen to sappy music and in general be a really miserable person to be around. And that’s okay, it happens to all of us. Feel it, really feel it and process all your emotions. Wear them out. Which leads me to step two…

2. Hate if it helps And I mean really HATE them. Think about all their terrible habits that you couldn’t stand while you were in a relationship with them. How off-key they sing. How they chew with their mouth open. How they make inappropriate comments in public. Relive it all and cringe. Be glad you don’t have to put up with any of these habits anymore. In fact, you never have to see their crappy face again if you don’t want to.

3. Share the pain Your friends are your friends for a reason and hopefully that reason is what amazing, supportive people they are. So let them do their job. Cry, whine, bitch, moan, seriously just get it all out. Listen to their advice. Let them buy you chocolate and pass you the box of tissues as you sit snivelling on their couch for the second weekend in a row. You will feel better, even if only for a little while.

4. Look after yourself It should be a no-brainer, but sometimes when bad things happen to us its easy to forget to take care of ourselves. We sit around and pig out on bad food, stop exercising and curl up in our pajamas. Although we may feel good right in the moment, science tells us that this is only a temporary fix. Compare this to the endorphin release after going for a run and the feeling of wellbeing you have after eating a healthy meal and you know which is the better alternative.

5. Don’t go on your ex’s Facebook Are you a sucker for pain? Do you enjoy being metaphorically punched in the face? No? Then don’t stalk your ex’s Facebook. Do you really want to see how much fun they’re having without you, or who they got snapped with on the weekend? Didn’t think so.

6. Stop wallowing You’ve cried your eyes out, you’ve complained to every friend you have, eaten all manner of bad foods and probably had a drunken cry in the bathroom during a night out. It’s time for some tough self-love, to once again embrace the world with a glass-half-full attitude. Buy yourself a new lipstick, get your hair done and smile at that cutie serving you your morning coffee. Life goes on.

7. Try new things There’s nothing like going outside of your comfort zone to take your mind off a bad situation. Is there a workshop you’ve been meaning to try? A language you’ve been itching to wrap your tongue around? A destination you’ve always wanted to visit? Well thanks to your breakup, you’ve got a whole bunch of free time on your hands and now is the perfect time!

8. Don’t hook up with your ex Listen up because this one is important. Don’t go back for more. I’m not talking about reconciling and sorting out your problems (that is great if you do!). I’m talking about a one night hookup followed by morning regrets and more of those tears your probably just stopped crying.

9. Date (when you’re ready) It’s time to get back in the saddle and it’s going to be great. You’ll get to go on some magic first dates again and feel butterflies (when was the last time your ex gave you butterflies—the good kind?). You’ll also get to go on some truly awful first dates, but at least you will be able to regale your friends with the horror stories instead of crying about your ex. They’re probably sick of hearing about that old topic. And those butterflies I mentioned? They’ll come from the cute late night text messages while you’re snuggled up in bed, the moments you realize how much you both love that obscure Japanese dating show.

10. Learn from your mistakes Maybe your ex was a total jerk. Maybe you were a total jerk. Maybe you were just both completely incompatible. No matter what the reason for the breakup, you can learn from it. Use the experience to grow and find out what you really want from a relationship. Yeah it sucked, but now you’re that little bit closer to getting exactly what you need.

Kelli Lord is a freckled faced girl hailing from Sydney, Australia, who wishes she was a tea-drinking English rose. Office girl by day and business degree student by night, she has plans to take the world by storm. You can see her day to day life on her Instagram.