8 hacks for messaging people in dating apps if you’re not great at texting

Messaging people on dating apps is tricky territory, even if you’re totally confident and have fun doing it. Do you go cheesy? Try to be funny? Straight-up ask someone how they’re doing and it they want to make out? It all depends on your own personality and what you want to get out of the apps, of course. But if you’re super bad at texting, the prospect of messaging someone at all can bring on anxiety. Luckily, there are some ways to message people in dating apps that are sure to get a response.

The stakes can feel super high when you’re messaging in a dating app.

As much as we all complain about the instant judgements you make when you swipe right or left on someone’s picture, the way we judge people by their messaging style is just as bad! Taking the initiative and sending someone a message takes some guts. And literally nothing is worse than someone not responding at all to your cheesy joke.

Whether you want to craft personal messages tailored to someone’s profile or compose one solid canned opening line, here are a few messaging hacks for dating apps.

1Stay flirty.

Opening up with a simple, “Where have you been all my life?’ will definitely get a response. And it’s a good way to see if someone actually has a decent sense of humor or not. Is it totally cheesy? Absolutely. But it definitely works better than a silly “hi.”

2Go deep.

Really read the persons profile and check out their pictures. Are they at a Red Sox game? Make fun of their team. Comment on the joke they made about their job in their little blurb. Let them know you actually took a little time.

3Cut to the chase.

If you’re trying to just go out on dates as soon as possible or get laid, just ask someone out right away. Skip the whole “how are you” pleasantries and see if they’re free this weekend for a Bloody Mary. It’s kind of hot, actually.

4Use code.

You can always just leave a couple of emoji and see where it goes. This might sound a little immature, but it’s a good way to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously. You can tell a lot about a person given their ability to string a few emoji together to make you smile.

5Ask an actual question.

Instead of a joke or a flirty question, get serious. Especially if you’re into keeping up on politics or current events. “How are you surviving the dumpster fire,” usually gets a response. Bonus points for figuring out what party they vote for before you get in too deep or whether they’re just as into Game of Thrones as you are.

6Tell them they’re hot.

If you think they’re good looking, go right in and compliment them. Sometimes this can be creepy, so tread lightly. But a simple “you’re cute!” can do the trick now and again.

7Recommend something.

Sometimes people share a lot of information about themselves on their profile. If they express an interest for finding the best spicy noodles in town, tell them about your favorite Szechuan joint in the city…and then ask if they want to go with you.

8Go with a GIF.

Tinder lets you send GIFS now, and you should totally use them. According to Virtual Dating Assistant, they get more responses than just plain text. You could do this all day, right?

Messaging in a dating app can be tricky. Just keep it light and easy and go with it. Once you get the hang of it, it can actually be fun and not torturous.