Girl Scout badges that don’t exist, but that we 10,000% need

Happy 103rd Birthday Girl Scouts!

That’s right gals: March 12th is Girl Scout Day. This wonderful organization was born on this day back in 1912, when Juliette Gordon Low officially registered the organization’s first 18 fabulous members in Savannah, Georgia.

Each March, Girl Scouts celebrate Girl Scout week, which starts with Girl Scout Sunday and always includes a celebration of the organization’s birth. We love the Girl Scouts and we especially love their cookies, but we’ve gotta say in our humble opinions there are some highly-necessary badges missing from their badge lineup.

As our birthday gift to them, we’ve taken the liberty of listing out the badges that we’d like to see incorporated into Girl Scout world. After a brief perusal of the Girl Scouts’ site it looks like there’s an annual opportunity for Girl Scouts to make their own badges (consider our badge ideas for that next opp., Girls Scouts who may be reading this!). If that doesn’t fly, then we’re just going to think really, really hard about the badges that we want until we can (hopefully) will them into existence.

Without further ado, here are our badge ideas for your consideration:

The “Social Awkwardness Queen” badge

You know that moment when you walk into a gas station feeling totally nasty and unprepared for any social interaction whatsoever, and then you run into an old high school acquaintance who wants to chat with you forever? How about when you accidentally say “you too” when the teller at the movie theater says, “Enjoy your movie”? Yeah, can we win a badge for that?

The “Best Survival Of a Breakup” badge

Because breakups are really, really hard and it can feel impossible to get through them on our own, but a badge might help. We would really, really like a badge for putting back together the pieces of our heart, plz.

The “Best Knowledge Of Cute Animal Videos” badge

Let’s be rewarded for finding cuteness in the world! All you Gigglers know that we at HG are total experts at finding those cute animal videos, but we’d give you a fair opportunity to win the coveted badge . . . because we love you. Mwah.

The “Netflix Goddess” badge

Wouldn’t it be nice to sit on the couch, binge-watching Netflix, knowing that we’re not only enjoying the heck out of ourselves but ALSO working towards a shiny new badge? Shouldn’t we be rewarded for watching House of Cards and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for hours on end?

Hey, it’s hard work. Kind of.

The “Bookworm Babe” badge

Knowledge is hot, and literature is lovely. There should be a badge that encourages those moments when you hole yourself up in your room and read for days because you JUST CAN’T PUT THAT BOOK DOWN. Maybe another badge for collecting the highest number of books. We’d call that one the “Library Lady” badge.

The “Loving Your Body Exactly How It Is” badge

So many girls grow up thinking they need to hit puberty at a certain time, or that they need to be __ pounds thinner. Reality is, we should love our bodies no matter what! And we’d love to see a badge that encourages body positivity and confidence.

The “Eating The Most Girl Scout Cookies” badge

We know you can get a badge for selling the most cookies, but what about eating them? Because if there was a Thin Mint version of this badge, I would get it in a heartbeat.

Extra badge if you incorporate milk into the mix. Yum.

The “Best Penguin Blog” badge

Ok, maybe we stole this idea from the Pawnee Goddesses, but seriously, can we make this a thing so we can have more adorable penguin blogs in our lives?

Happy Girl Scout Day, and thanks to the Girl Scouts of the USA for making the world a better place!

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