Getting proposed to was totally different than I imagined—here’s why

Another one of your friends changes their Facebook status to engaged. You like the status, maybe even leave a ‘Congrats! So happy for you!’ comment, then you drink wine and watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix, convinced Rory would be the best bestie because she turned down a proposal. I’m one of your annoying status-changing friends and I’m here to tell you what being proposed to is really, really like.

Based on portrayals in movies and television shows, and your friends’ stories, you’re probably under the impression that being proposed to will be one of the most romantic moments in your entire life. Maybe for some people it is. But for me, it wasn’t at all. It was sort of confusing and awkward. It’s like when you know the answer to a question on a test and you’re trying to search through your brain for it. Basically, the entire time I was being proposed to, I was just trying to figure out what is happening.

I had always told my now-fiancé that I wanted a private proposal. No asking for my hand, no asking my friends what ring I would like, no telling his friends how nervous he was. I liked the idea that when we got engaged, we would be the only two people in the world who knew. That is, for the whole two minutes before we changed our Facebook statuses.

My fiancé popped the question in a way that was private and sweet and very us. He was so nervous that he was half kneeling, half sitting on the sofa next to me. Also, he was sweating. A lot. He was terrified.

The whole time it was happening, I kept thinking what is going on even though we had candidly spoken about getting married and I had found the ring earlier that week. When it happens, despite how well prepared you think you are, it’s an overwhelming experience. It was so overwhelming that neither of us can remember what he said in his proposal. I do remember that it was the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me, the sweetest things I can’t remember.

Afterwards, I blinked like a Disney Princess, like I had been sleeping for 100 years, like I had just grew legs. “Is this a promise ring,” I asked, still not fully understanding what was happening. This was how overwhelmed I was while being proposed to in a hotel room with just the two of us. I cannot fathom how women who experience elaborate surprise proposals must feel. I’m sure it can’t be good for their health.

Being proposed to is an overwhelming, out of body experience. It’s wonderful, yes, but it’s scary. All the sudden, someone is kneeling in front of you, saying nice things, with their most hopeful eyes, holding a really sparkly thing at you.

So for me, at least, it wasn’t as romantic as I had imagined. But it was still great. being proposed to is a weird experience. It’s sort of an out-of-body thing. If for you, like me, it didn’t feel like the happiest moment of your life so much as something that just kind of happened, that’s totally OK. A proposal is fun, but what’s important is the relationship. And, of course, the champagne.

Veronica Zabczynski is a writer of many mediums. She recently launched wordslikelace.com as a one women attempt to make poetry cool again. When she isn’t writing, she’s most likely binge watching TV, while cuddling her fiance and two dogs, who would be very upset if she didn’t give them a shout out in this bio. Follow her on Instragram @wordslikelace for pictures of poems and said dogs.

[Image via iStock]