Uh, no, the garlic yeast infection cure is a really really terrible idea for your vagina

Here’s an equation for you to memorize: vagina + garlic = TERRIBLE IDEA

Remember that Oprah episode where a doctor told the viewers how not to clean their vaginas, and said that our private parts are basically self-cleaning machines and we “never want to put anything up there.” And Oprah responded, “Well, maybe one thing?”

We know what she WASN’T talking about: garlic.

Yes, in today’s news of WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?, Jen Gunter, MD, writes on her blog that some women are attempting to treat vaginal yeast infections with garlic. JUST DON’T.

Yeast is a fungus. Yeast infections are fungal infections. Garlic has anti-fungal properties. When eaten, it might help you fight fungal infections a little. But it does not go up your honey pot!

Garlic’s medicinal properties are only released when it is crushed or chopped. Putting a whole clove in your vagina is worthless and just madness. It may also lead to bacterial infections introduced from the garlic. JUST DON’T.

But putting crushed or chopped garlic inside your nether regions is also an awful, terrible, really bad idea, because the oils interacting with your vagina, inflamed from the infection, will sting like the venom of a million bad-smelling yellow jackets and also has no known medicinal benefit and JUST DON’T.

In fact, whether wrapping the garlic in gauze, or buying garlic oil and self-treating your vagina with that, it’s all nonsense, old crazy-people’s tales that need to be put to rest for the sake of all our beautiful, we-deserve-better vajayjays.

The best way to treat yeast infections is still with the help of a medical professional. Not a vampire fighter. A doctor.

So, please, if you suspect you have a yeast infection, for all that is good and wonderful about our vaginas, save your garlic for eating and call your doc.

(h/t to Refinery 29)