George R. R. Martin is the king of sass when it comes to telling us what the “Game of Thrones” spinoffs *won’t* be about

George R. R. Martin is supposed to be writing The Winds of Winter right now, the next book in his Song of Ice and Fire saga. However, he is not. Instead, he has taken time out of his precious day to talk about the upcoming Game of Thrones spinoffs. Or sorry, prequels. He doesn’t want us to call them “spinoffs.” They are “successor show[s].”

Anything else you want to share with us, George?

Yes.

“[The successor show writers and I spend] days together discussing…ideas, the history of Westeros and the world beyond, and sundry details found only in The World of Ice & Fire and The Lands of Ice & Fire… when we weren’t drinking margaritas and eating chile rellenos and visiting Meow Wolf,” Martin writes on his Livejournal.

So you hear that? Martin isn’t writing, because he’s talking about successor shows, and also drinking margaritas. And this is why we don’t have The Winds of Winter.

Cheeky tidbits aside, Martin is here to share a few things about these  Game of Thrones shows. Namely, what they won’t be about, so listen up.

"I can't tell you what the shows will be about (well, I could, but I won't), but I will tell you a couple of things they WON'T be," Martin continues. "We're not doing Dunk & Egg. Eventually, sure, I'd love that, and so would many of you. But I've only written and published three novellas to date, and there are at least seven or eight or ten more I want to write...We're not doing Robert's Rebellion either. I know thousands of you want that, I know there's a petition... but by the time I finish writing A SONG OF ICE & FIRE, you will know every important thing that happened in Robert's Rebellion." "Feel free to makes your guesses [about these shows], if you like... but I am not going to be confirming or denying anything, so don't expect replies...All of you who were hoping for the further adventures of Hot Pie are doomed to disappointment."

Of the currently *FIVE* shows in development with HBO, Martin doesn’t expect all of them to make it to our television sets. “If we do get five series on the air, I might have to change my name to Dick Direwolf,” Martin quips, and HE HAS GOT THE JOKES.

And soon we will have the MULTIPLE GAME OF THRONES SHOWS. Cross your fingers.