The ‘Full House’ revival is happening! Now, here’s why we need Michelle Tanner on the show. . .
It’s happening, you guys! Last night on Jimmy Kimmel, John Stamos confirmed that a Full House sequel series, Fuller House, is headed to Netflix for a 13-episode run. Stamos will bring back his best “Have Mercy,” as Uncle Jesse. Sister duo DJ and Stephanie Tanner (Candace Cameron Bure and Jodi Sweeten) are on board, as is Kimmy Gibbler (Andrea Barber). In the revival series, Deej is a pregnant, widowed vet and mom of two boys. She’s still living in San Fran and rooming with Steph, a musician, and Kimmy, a fellow single mom. As for the rest of the gang? Netflix confirmed they’re in talks with Dave Coulier, Lori Loughlin, Bob Saget, and yes, the Olsen twins, about making some guest appearances.
I don’t mean to be greedy, because this is such a gift from the Netflix gods—but I’d really, really like to see Michelle (aka MK & Ashley) all grown up on the new series. In fact, in hopes of persuading the grown-up fashion designers to revisit their iconic role, I’ve put together a little homage to Michelle Tanner. As the youngest of three daughters, I can totally attest that Michelle Tanner got it right every time. She was the spoiled kid, the cute, lovable one who got away with everything, and her sassy one-liners, mostly mumbled in a squeaky baby-talk, were total inspiration for my own considerable ‘tude. Check out the times Michelle Tanner totally encapsulated the ups and downs of being the youngest sister—the sarcastic, adorable, spoiled, tortured, quintessential baby sis.
1. She just wants to hang with her “cool” older sisters.
The situation: So Danny comes home and gives his oldest daughters tickets to see Counting Crows, but like, where’s Michelle’s? She feels left out and lies about being a fan of the band, causing DJ and Stephanie to get mad at her because she stole one of their tickets! DJ and Stephanie conspire to take Michelle’s ticket away from her, and Michelle confesses that all she wanted was to hang out with her older sisters. “I really didn’t care about the Counting Cars,” she says, adorably getting the name wrong. “All I wanted to do was something grown-up with you guys. You get to do all kinds of fun stuff, and I always feel left out. You guys are so cool. I wanna grow up and be just like you.”
I totally feel for Michelle here. For years, I was too young to hang out with my older sisters and felt out of the loop. Good news is, now we’re all old enough to hang out together and see as many Counting Crows concerts as we want!
2. She may be the youngest, but you really can’t get anything past her.
The situation: Michelle and DJ play games to see who’s going to do all the chores, and DJ swindles Michelle to make sure she doesn’t get stuck with any of the chores. Finally, Michelle thinks of a totally unfair limbo game that she wins, prompting DJ to say, “Michelle, that was sneaky and underhanded. I’ve taught you well. Congratulations.”
Older sisters exist to prank, fool, and tease their younger sisters. Luckily, younger sisters get older and live to beat their older sisters at something! It’s totally payback time.
3. Michelle completely humiliates her older sisters on the regular.
The situation: Stephanie’s rehearsing a Shakespeare play with the guy she likes. This guy leans in to kiss her per the stage directions but then chickens out at the last second. Little Michelle standing nearby goes, “I knew it. Dry lips.” That’s okay, I don’t blame you. It’s like kissing a cactus.” And then: “What’s the big deal? I didn’t tell him you have a crush on him!”
Nice job, Michelle. TOTAL humiliation of your older sisters is just part of the job description of being the baby of the family. Been there, done that.
4. Michelle knows how to take what she wants.
The situation: DJ and Steph are fighting over — what else? — a cookie. (Really, is anything else even worth fighting over?) Michelle is like, “Stop!” and they each come to their senses very easily. DJ and Stephanie each offer the cookie to the other and Michelle, sensing a golden opportunity, snatches the cookie and runs away. Like it was her plan aaaaall alooong.
The youngest ones know how to take what they want, often at the expense of their older sisters. **Evil laugh.**
5. She’s always the center of attention, and rightfully so.
The situation: DJ and Michelle have to rake all the leaves in the yard because Michelle blamed them for breaking a window. Stephanie is trying really hard—with her hands, apparently—to throw the leaves away when Michelle comes along and starts playing in the heap of leaves, like the boss she is.
I can totally sympathize with this one. Sometimes a girl just has to jump into a gigantic pile of leaves without judgment. Can we live?!
6. Michelle gets away with everything because she’s Michelle, OK?
The situation: Michelle is running the house, being mischievous and then blaming her older sisters for what she’s doing. She’s got Danny wrapped around her finger because she’s Daddy’s Little Girl, and she’s never been punished. In her words, “I wanna PLAY!” Unfortunately, the domination of the House cannot be sustained, and Michelle has to be punished.
It’s no secret that the youngest daughters get spoiled, because who wants to see their youngest child growing up? NO ONE.
7. She always calls it like she sees it.
The situation: Michelle catches DJ and Aladdin, I mean Steve, kissing and goes, “WHATCHA DOIN?” as if it weren’t obvious. Then of course, she totally ruins the moment. “In school, we learned millions of germs live in your spit,” she says. Aaaand, there goes the mood.
Yep, little sisters are always underfoot when you least want them there. Luckily for us, boyfriends come and go, but you can never get rid of your little sisters. We’re always going to be here annoying you. Fingers crossed Michelle Tanner proves us right and makes a comeback! Will she be different if she’s all grown up? Let’s hope not. Why mess with perfection?