Here’s what it would look like if “Full House” was rebooted as a gritty crime drama

When Fuller House came out on Netflix, we thought our lives were complete. We’ll never ask for anything else ever again, we thought, because the reboot was so perfect. And then we heard the show was coming back for a second season, and we thought Okay, NOW our lives are complete. But now there’s yet another reboot floating around, and it’s official: There’s no such thing as too much of that show.

Bob Saget, John Stamos and Dave Coulier were guests on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night and they introduced us to a gritty true crime-style reboot of Full House called Full House Nights. The reboot is, of course, a parody, but in all seriousness, we would totally watch it.

“Reboots are great. Actually, we’re doing a couple of them. It’s a more updated, gritty Full House reboot,” said Bob Saget. “It’s scum of the earth stuff. Stuff people love: drugs, sex, murder.”

Full House Nights stars the three men as Danny, Jesse and Joey, aka the Full House Daddies. After the girls go to sleep, they venture out into the streets of San Francisco to solve crimes after dark. “We play adult roommate detectives who’ve seen a little bit too much,” Dave Coulier said. And they had a clip from the show to prove it.

The opening credit sequence is something out of True Detective, and it’s so perfect. The dark, double-exposure shots of the actors juxtaposed with gritty SF landscapes are perfect. Even the theme song was re-recorded, and will be stuck in your head all day.

What’s awesome is that Full House Nights still manages to pack in the nostalgia. In just a few short minutes we hear catchphrases, see Joey’s impressions and even get yet another dig at the Olsen twins. Watch the three cops—the good cop, the bad cop and the impressionist cop—interrogate a criminal named Demetri (played by Colbert). Seriously—we would totally watch this reboot!