Sarah May Bates
July 01, 2012 10:00 am

Dating… Are you confused? Conflicted? Kind of stuck? There’s a situation you’re in and you’re not sure why you’re in it, or how to get out of it, or if you even want to get out of it. Is it wrong? Is it right? Are you depriving yourself of something great or is this a terrible decision? All totally normal instincts to have, simultaneously.

The only thing you have to think about while dating is you. You must stay completely honest and attuned to what you want. What you really, really want and what all of you really, really wants. No half-wants or compromises. This is your life, your body and potentially your future. It needs to be right.

Think about who you want to be with. What you want from that person. Where you want to go and when. What you cannot deal with and what you can. Those are your priorities, and what your person wants. You cannot betray that, for anyone. Those are your boundaries, your dreams and what you know will make you happy. That is the ultimate goal, after all.

Even though it sounds totally logical, for whatever reason at some point in our lives we tell ourselves that we should change to try and win another.  That they are better than us and we should start compromising to have them. Doing so implies you don’t love yourself enough to protect yourself, and on an evolutionary level it means your tribe will not continue on. Maybe this tendency is cultural or maybe it’s a result of our childhood scars. Wherever it comes from, we’ve all done it and it gets us nowhere. Especially not to the place we would like to be: loved and respected as we are.

You are you and you will always be that you. There is nothing wrong about that person. Everything is by definition right. Listen to yourself, and listen to all of you. What do you want? Don’t compromise that. Don’t listen to the fears, the doubts, the what-ifs. Listen to your soul, and take your time. You can’t speed up fate. If it’s not right, recognize it and move on, and don’t worry, something right will come along. You should never decide anything based on fear.  Have faith in the beauty that is you, honor it, so that others may see it too.

Happy Sunday, friends xox Sarah.

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