Sarah May Bates
May 26, 2013 8:00 am

Or, doing what’s best for yourself, despite yourself.

Figuring out what the hell you’re looking for and what’s best for you is for many of us, a lifetime process. But as soon as you get to a state of comfort with yourself that allows you to truly cherish yourself enough to say no to things that hurt you, you have arrived. Yesiree. And when you get here, you don’t really think about it like that. You’re just content. Peaceful. And in the eyes of the universe, you are finally “ready.” Meaning, you’ve set yourself up to identify and receive opportunity that’s been waiting in fate-coat check for your entire life. You are finally, totally “you.” From here, it’s just about letting the universe do it’s thing.

I believe we move about our lives collecting missing pieces of ourselves that somehow got chipped away through the stumblings of growing up. We roam about the world collecting these bits from different relationships, jobs and learning experiences of all kinds. From each person or situation, we glean a valuable insight into ourselves, and we gather up our piece and move on. Sometimes it can be tough to really hold onto it. Sometimes the tiny piece can slip away and suddenly we’re back in our old habits again, because it’s comfortable. But eventually pick it up again and get back on the trail.

An odd truth, but taking good care of yourself is a difficult skill to learn. It’s actually hugely difficult for many of us because often it’s not something we grew up doing. Childhood experiences often teach us to negate our needs in service of the needs of others, which makes us into pretty awesome and caring adults, but doesn’t help when it comes to building the right life for us. Often we end up in friendships or jobs that aren’t right because we feel for one reason or another that we are supposed to, or that we shouldn’t ask for more than we’ve got. Sometimes due to the wants of others, and sometimes due to our ability to accept and “deal” with most anything: a naturally born in trait that we might think serves us well.

The good part in this situation ironically comes when you feel the most fed up. It’s like something inside you hits a threshold suddenly you can no longer tolerate this condition, because it does not reward your soul. This spot, the angry “I’ve had enough” spot, is where a vital piece is gathered. You get so mad, you throw down the expectations of another, and pick your self-protectiveness right up. And if it’s bad enough, you will never put that piece down again. You must hold that feeling tight. Keep your focus on it and don’t lose sight of it for a second. Surrender to the discomfort and fear of ‘what if’. Accept and process the pain of loss, and ask the universe and fate to help you move on. And never look back. You have your piece back! It’s much better just ahead and you’re heading for the right spot.

When you learn through repeated action that you and your feelings matter most to yourself, what happens is you literally become a person of value. To strangers, to coworkers and to potential mates. And even better, you really like yourself. Because you are important and someone worth knowing. Coincidentally, you also have fun hanging out by yourself; almost like having a cool friend, you might find you’re having fun alone on a Saturday night. Best of all, when you can get to that place, the universe at large takes notice. Suddenly things around you start to alight in a path of sorts. One that leads toward that which rewards your full and complete self. All those pieces were gathered and now you’re like a beautifully restored version of your childhood self, spirit intact.

Gather your lessons and do not let them go. You are worth finding and you are worth understanding. Listen to yourself, and do not allow anyone to mistreat you. If something is hurting you, speak up. And treat yourself with the utmost love and respect. That alone will lead you toward the peace and happiness that awaits you.

Happy Sunday, peeps! xo Sarah

Featured image via Pink Sherbet Photography

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