How To Cope When Everyone You Know Is At Coachella
Pretty much everyone and their moms, dads and little sisters are going to Coachella this weekend – and the next – and leaving us party poopers in the dust. Or to live vicariously through Instagram pictures of The Postal Service. Don’t be bitter (says the girl who literally called the local rock station for free Coachella tickets every day). In fact, whether it’s Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza or Outside Lands, you can survive this time of abandonment even if you seriously considered selling a kidney for a wristband. So stop moping, listen up and don’t you dare be trading any of your vital organs on the black market. These are the five ways to deal with the fact that everyone you know and love is having fun without you at a music festival.
1. Mentally block all festival posting friends on Facebook.
This is key. Log on to your Twitter, Instagram or Facebook with a clear and level head and know that every other status will be about the Coachella Valley sunshine or will contain a filtered picture of a trippy ferris wheel. If a friend is desperately trying to sell her weekend two Coachella ticket to you for a bargain price of $300, don’t give in; you have much better things to do, and if you wanted to buy a ticket, you probably would have done that a million years ago anyway. Stay strong.
2. Look up what’s going on in your city.
Just because you’re not in the middle of the desert doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Look up who’s playing this weekend on Ticketmaster or Last FM and buy a ticket for like, $25 and go! This way, you don’t have to make a mad dash to 50 bands in under two hours and limit yourself to one song per show. It’s way less stressful this way, I promise. If you’re too bummed or downtrodden to listen to music of any kind, go rollerblading. Or hiking. Or bake a hundred cupcakes that your festival friends can’t eat!
3. Spend the $1,000 you would have invested in festival expenses on something tangible.
Like shoes. Or books. Or a new wardrobe. No, just kidding. I’m not telling you to be fiscally irresponsible or anything like that. Save that money you would have spent for a rainy day. Or for next year at Coachella.
4. Convince yourself that the lineup isn’t the great. Next year will be better.
But seriously, it probably will. I mean, it’s not like La Roux or Modest Mouse have released an album in years, and Dinosaur Jr. will be more boring than watching Lincoln with your parents.
5. Remind yourself that excess sun exposure is bad for you.
And makes you age even faster than listening to The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Do you really want to be camping out in desert for three days in a row with no real shower? Or bed to sleep in? There is a reason why civilization exists, and it’s not here so we can party in the dirt all in the name of music.
So, chin up! And remember, there’s always the live stream.
Featured image via manpacks.com