There comes a time in every woman’s life when she finally outgrows Forever 21. Yes, it boasts being eternally ~21~ but at a certain point, somewhere around the late-twenties/early-thirties mark, we lose all patience for clothes that make us look like we’re forever at a Coachella pool party.
I mean, all women at any age can SLAY in this outfit if they want to, but the real question is: Do you actually want to?
Which is why we pose the question…
What if there was a Forever 29?
And what would it sell?
Pants with the top button perpetually undone.
Please, let us experience dairy bloat pain-free, thank you.
Functional (read: non-sexy) underwear that doesn’t get destroyed after three washes.
Your partner knows what it looks like down there, no need for the lace thongs anymore. Give us something DURABLE.
Skirts with elastic waistbands.
Because who has time for zippers and sucking-in and all of that nonsense?
Comfortable heels (if that exists).
We don’t know, can science or Dr. Scholls make this happen?
Shorts you can actually wear in an office.
It’s hot out and yet we have to go to work. Is there such a thing as the business lady short?
An entire section simply called “dresses you can wear to weddings.”
If they have an athletic section and a cocktail dresses section, they should have a section of the store dedicated to dresses that can be worn to weddings, because lord knows we attend like, seven a year.
A graphic tee that says “I say BAE because I heard my little sister say it.”
Forever 21 LOVES tee’s with slang, but does Forever 29 have to?
A graphic tee that says “Can I still pull off graphic tees?”
We think you can? Maybe?
NO COACHELLA INSPIRED FASHION!
The WORLD needs a moratorium on ~Coachella Fashion~.