Ask a Mom (Who Is Not Your Mom): Do I Really Have To Wax?
Sorry if this is “too much information,” but recently my boyfriend said he thought it would be sexy if I got I full Brazilian wax. I keep myself neat and tidy down there, if you know what I mean, but I’m not sure I want to go all the way! Frankly, I think it looks kind of creepy and I’m worried that it will be insanely painful. Will he be less attracted to me? I really love him and don’t want to mess up a good thing.
—Scared to go Bare, Chicago
Would those of you who think we are at a body hair tipping point please raise your hands? OK, me too. From Gwyneth Paltrow telling Ellen that her bikini line “works a ’70s vibe” to Madonna airing her brazenly bushy armpits on Instagram, some celebs are publicly bucking the smooth-as-a-Barbie doll trend (or maybe “tyranny” is a better word) of the last decade. A few weeks ago, a professor at Arizona State even gave her female students extra credit for growing out their underarms and legs and her male students a bonus if they shaved below the neck.
Maybe its because the hairless look has become so ubiquitous, a little fringe of fuzz feels edgy and new. Or perhaps its simply that some women are balking at the time, money, and discomfort required to keep our various lawns mowed and hedges trimmed. When it comes to female grooming, as HelloGiggles Editor-in-Chief Jennifer Romolini recently wrote, “There’s a difference between sitting back and getting some sweet nail art and an arm massage and balancing on all fours while a person you don’t know pours molten liquid on your butthole and rips it off.”
Brazilian waxes are expensive and require a lot of upkeep—and they don’t look so pretty after a couple of weeks of re-growth (think “plucked chicken” or Don Johnson’s chin on Miami Vice). If getting one doesn’t appeal to you, simply don’t do it. Don’t worry too much about your boyfriend’s comment; just because a guy says something is sexy doesn’t mean its a deal breaker. My husband thinks mini-skirts and stilettos are sexy, yet here I sit, a married lady of nearly 20 years, in baggy cutoffs and running shoes.
What if he keeps up with the deforestation campaign? You could give him a feisty and impassioned lecture on double standards and the pernicious influence of the porn industry on female aesthetics. . . yadda, yadda. OR, how about this? Enthusiastically agree that you’d find it hot if he de-fuzzed too. Then queue up the chest-waxing scene from The 40 Year-Old Virgin. As actor Steve Carrell screams, swears, and sweats while his hair is being ripped out, casually mention that the scene was real and unscripted. Don’t forget to point out that the red welts and little drops of blood on his freshly waxed skin weren’t created with CGI (“Isn’t that CRAZY?”). That should do the trick.
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