Steph Barnes
June 24, 2013 5:00 pm

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.”

― C. JoyBell C.

We all just wanna be happy, right? I know I do. So, my question is: why do we constantly put ourselves in situations that cause us pain? As if life isn’t tough enough already. Why do we hold on to the people, situations and things that hurt us more than they enrich us? The answer is simple, because we don’t know when to let go. We hold on because we think it will get better, we think we can change them. But the truth is, we can only control ourselves and so to be happy we must first remove ourselves from these vices. When we stop trying to control the world around us we give it the freedom to fulfill us without the power to destroy us…makes sense?

Here we go, six signs it might be time to let go:

1.  You’re always fighting/bickering over the tiniest issues. Of course, people fight but if during your yelling match you’ve totally forgotten what you’re fighting about – it’s probably not worth it.

2. When everything they do starts to annoy you. I know you love them and you might feel like you have owe it to them to work on the relationship but when you look over at them like, “OMG, do you HAVE to breathe like that?”, it might be time for a break… up.

3. When it hurts too much to hold on. This one, I could write a book about. I was with someone recently and I loved, I loved hard but we got to a point where I felt it was the relationship or my mental sanity and I chose me. But then I quickly realized how selfish I was because they were going through a rough time and I bailed when they needed me the most. I tried to make it better. I spent so much time convincing myself that I needed this person, I needed to make it right. I tried to rebuild what we had but after weeks of trying and getting knocked down, I realized it was time to let it go. And I did.

4. You constantly find yourself searching for reasons to stay and justifying their actions. “Oh, maybe he forgot my birthday because he had a work thing…”, Sure! But if missing appointments and forgetting important dates becomes a habit then they’re probably losing interest and you definitely deserve better. Holding on won’t make them want you again, it’ll just hold you back.

5. “When the feeling ain’t the same. Find myself calling her, your name” Usher said it best. The butterflies are all gone and reality has set it. Maybe you’ve grown, evolved even and you’ve found yourself growing distant. Maybe you’ve met someone else and you’re intrigued. Whatever the reason, don’t string them along…just let them go.

6. When they tell you they no longer want to be with you. Getting dumped is hard but if they respect you enough to be honest with you (and not cheat on you) then you need to respect yourself enough to let them go. No! I will not let you use my boombox to go all Say Anything. Remember, grand gestures are creepy when directed at someone who really just wants you gone.

When letting go becomes an act of self-preservation you should never feel guilty about it. It’s you or them and your emotional and mental stability should trump all else. It will hurt now but one day, maybe not tomorrow or next month but one day, you’ll wake up and realize you’re okay. You’ve overcome this huge emotional hurdle and you deserve several drinks.

Cheers!

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