Fake It ‘Til You Make It: Golden Globes 2014

It’s hard to feel excited about anything in January so the film, television and music industries give us several Sundays in the winter to watch our favorite stars wear gorgeous (or questionable) clothes and give sappy speeches. What better way to kick off this season of glamor than the Golden Globes? The Globes, given out by the Hollywood Foreign Press, are my favorite of all the awards shows. What makes them so great? Booze, and lots of it. The already loose cannons of Hollywood get looser with liquid courage and the inappropriate speeches abound! Plus, Amy and Tina are back as hostesses.

The trouble is that so many of the films nominated have either JUST come out or are only showing in tiny art houses in select cities. We’d love to see the French film Blue is The Warmest Color, but where is it playing?! But The Globes, as Amy Poehler said last year, is where “the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television”, and everyone’s got a TV! Or a laptop! Let’s be real, who’s watching TV on their TV anymore.  Shows you should’ve been watching all along (Breaking Bad) got some nods, as did some newcomers everyone thought would get cancelled (I’m looking at you, lovable Brooklyn Nine Nine).

Here are eight opinions, thoughts, gossip and facts to help you enjoy the show with the movie and TV fanatics in your life as you sip champagne every time a presenter makes a comment about how difficult it is to say “Chiwetel Ejiofor”.

1. Is August: Osage County actually any good or do they just want Meryl and Julia Roberts to come to the Globes?

Guys, I’m not sure if this is true because the movie’s been out for maybe a minute, and while I’m certain Meryl Streep is nothing short of genius in it, I wonder about Julia. The recovering rom com addict in me hopes she was nominated because she’s amazing, but the cynic in me thinks it might be like when they nominated Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie for The Tourist in 2011. Sometimes, people get nominated just so they show up to the show and bump ratings. But I mean, people loved Tina and Amy so much last year, I doubt Julia Roberts is much more of a ratings draw.

2. Siri might be the only… person that is hating on Her.

If you ask Siri what she thinks of the Spike Jonze futuristic romantic dramedy, she will tell you that the portrayal of artificial intelligence is “beyond artificial” (it’s a funny GG party trick!). Set in the not too distant future, Her is the story of a man (Joaquin Phoenix) who falls in love with his computer’s operating system.  Critics are going crazy for it, but I’m having a hard time getting past all the high-waisted pants that the men in the movie are sporting.

3. I’m so torn between Zooey, Amy AND Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

My favorite and most anticipated category of the night? Best Actress in Television Comedy Series. I’m not sure who I want to win! I love Girls and cringe at everything I have in common with the brilliantly written Hannah. But I can’t take watching Lena Dunham teeter up to the podium in heels that are too big again. You’d think her old friend Zac Posen, who designed that monstrosity she was wearing, could’ve given her some pointers.

4. I wonder if Amy Adams will go the opposite direction of her character in American Hustle and eliminate any trace of side boob for awards season.

Speaking of fashion… while the Golden Globes might be the most fun night in Hollywood, it isn’t the one that fashion fanatics live and die by. The Golden Globes are simply the fashion foreplay to the fashion orgy that is the Oscars. They’re a good preview of what we can look forward to or run in horror from… on the red carpet through out award season.

5. It’s good to see British TV stars that aren’t those Downton Abbey teasippers getting some attention.

Don’t get me wrong, I love those snotty Brits in their gorgeous period costumes., but BBC America has been killing it with shows like Orphan Black, Luther and Dancing on The Edge, all of which use some top-notch actors. For example, veteran actors and dreamboats Chiwetel Ejiofor and Idris Elba are nominated for BOTH Best Actor in a Film AND a television miniseries! Chiwetel Ejiofor is nominated for the film 12 Years a Slave and the mini-series Dancing On The Edge. Idris Elba is nominated for his portrayal of Nelson Mandela in Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom and for the title character in the BBC America show, Luther. That means seeing them at least twice during the evening’s broadcast! Swoon!

6. I’m the captain now!

The now famous line uttered by GG nominee and first time actor Barkhad Abdi in the film Captain Phillips is great way to get control back in any GG related argument. Abdi’s chilling portrayal of the pirates’ ruthless leader has garnered him loads of well deserved attention. The line itself was actually improvised in a scene when the pirates come face to face with Phillips for the first time. This was actually the first time that the novice actors playing the pirates encountered superstar Tom Hanks. The director purposefully kept them from him until the moment the hijacking scene was shot.

7. I think JLaw deserves the GG more for American Hustle than she did for Silver Linings Playbook.

This is a tough stance to take. I, personally, LOVED her in American Hustle, I thought she was funny, ridiculous, vulnerable, and manipulative. In a perfect world, she should get a Best Actress nomination for Catching Fire and Lupita Nyong’o from 12 Years A Slave wins Best Supporting Actress. The problem is that the snobby awards people rarely take these YA novel turned movies seriously. But for me, the bottom line is that I’ve seen Jennifer Lawrence do much better work than in Silver Linings Playbook.

8. It would be nice for a real comedy to get a best picture nomination.

Rant time! I am a person who loves and respects comedy. I get really amped when a comedian is nominated for a big award, even though usually it’s for a dramatic role they have nailed because comedians make some of the best dramatic actors. However, some of my favorite movies of the year were comedies and their only chance to get some legit acknowledgement is at the Golden Globes. This year’s “comedy/musical” category is a joke itself… Nebraska?! Sure, it has its funny moments and is a beautiful film, but c’mon, what about This Is The End? What about The Way Way Back, the Brit comedy At World’s End? There has got to be a better place to acknowledge the best comedies and the actors and actresses in them. Rant. Over.


Below is a list of 25 things to watch before the show. In case you have a job, school, or a life I’ve included a site to catch you up on what’s what and who’s who of Hollywood’s biggest party.

EW’s 25 Must Watch List

Golden Globes news and gossip

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