This fake app will ensure you never try to contact your exes, and now we REALLY want it to be real
In the immortal words of Neil Sedaka (and about a million other recording artists after him), “breaking up is hard to do.” One thing that makes it even more difficult is the misguided choice to stalk our exes on Facebook. Whether it’s a recent break-up, or it’s been years, lurking on an ex’s social media profile can put you in a funk for hours, if not days. But how can we resist the temptation?
Comedy group Lady Products has a pretty phenomenal suggestion: a (sadly fake) app called “Nickelblock.” If the app were real, you would download it, enter your ex’s name, and any time you tried to contact or virtually stalk them, a Nickelback song would play.
With Nickelblock, users are subjected to the song “Photograph” every time they seek out information about their ex online. If you build up an immunity to the song, you can even download the band’s entire catalogue for a mere $2.99.
According to Huffington Post, this is either a “dream app” or a nightmare one, and it’s no wonder: To many people, listening to Nickelback is an acute and dramatic form of punishment. NPR has even tried to deconstruct why people hate Nickelback so much; we’ll leave that to the professionals, but we think listening to a band as an incentive to avoid looking at an ex’s Instagram account is a hilarious concept either way.
As the video showcases, Nickelblock is a pretty effective form of aversion therapy: when the main character runs into her ex, for a moment she seems to get a little weak in the knees—but then, “Photograph” begins to play and her look changes to one of total (hilarious) horror.
The video concludes with a list of potential side effects of using the app, including becoming attracted to “frosted tips” and “loss of dignity,” both of which are pretty drastic.
However, we still think Nickelblock would be a pretty useful tool in getting over a former flame; we commend Lady Products for the fantastically funny suggestion.
(Image via Shutterstock.)