What really happens when exes ask each other what went wrong

I think we can all agree that moving on from a breakup is never easy. Granted, some situations are often easier than others–for example, the end of a relationship that has been gradually falling apart might be less cumbersome to handle than being dumped out of the blue. And time heals everything, right?

A big ingredient in the success of that last sentence’s scenario, though, is usually spending some time apart and reflecting on what happened and who you want to be as both an individual and in your next relationship. Usually, you turn to close friends and family and yourself to figure these things out, grow as an individual, and eventually move forward. After a while, your ex and the accompanying relationship might seem like it happened in an entirely different lifetime.

But what would happen if, instead of just letting a failed relationship become a thing of the past, you sat down and actually discussed what went wrong with your ex after some serious time apart? Glamour, in conjunction with The Skin Deep, decided to find out by interviewing several real-life ex couples for a documentary called The And. And the video clips of one of the couples—Ali and Andrew, who were together for seven years but have been broken up for two—are nothing short of heart-wrenching.

As intense and uncomfortable as the clips are to watch as an outsider, we can’t imagine what it was like to actually be part of that conversation. Some of the forward, honest questions Ali and Andrew ask each other have to do with some really difficult topics like trust, cheating/being cheated on, and what they could go back and change about their relationship if they could.

But between the tears are also some laughs, and viewers can easily see the connection between Ali and Andrew and why they were together for seven years. They discuss how they felt the first time they met each other, as well as some of their fondest joint memories. By the end (through the tears), we can’t help but wonder if any of us ever fully get over our failed relationships—and maybe that’s OK.

Be forewarned: The full clips of Ali and Andrew’s conversation are not for the faint of heart, so before you hit play, grab some tissues and maybe go hang out somewhere not in public.

(Image via YouTube)

Related:

How to deal with being cheated on

I cheated on my partner, here’s what happened

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