Everything I need to know, I learned from Kimmy Schmidt

Well guess what, folks? We get new episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in just a few short weeks! Who is excited? We are all excited. In celebration of the show returning to Netflix, why not learn from one of the most learnable characters on television?

Be positive.
I think we can all agree that the first word that comes to mind when we think of Kimmy Schmidt is “positive.” Based on her clothes alone, Kimmy Schmidt oozes positivity. After being locked up by a cult leader for 15 years, most of us wouldn’t be quite so perky as we re-adjusted to society — especially in a big city like New York. Kimmy, on the other hand, is a ball of positive energy from the moment she gets out, even when tragic things happen to her. (That backpack full of money??! Ugh, still breaks my heart.)


Be a good friend.
Not only is Kimmy a great friend to her fellow “mole women,” she immediately bonds with Titus and her crazy boss Jacqueline Voorhies, and she even develops a fondness for Jacqueline’s stepdaughter Xanthippe. When she meets Titus, she declares happily, “I’m your new roommate!” even though the situation is already sketchy and Titus is a bit, well, much. Kimmy has a natural warmth about her and combined with her can-do attitude, she is truly able to befriend anyone. Even crazy old men who don’t know what she’s talking about.

It’s okay to not be cool.
Partially because Kimmy has been trapped in a cellar thing for 15 years, she happens to be completely uncool, which only adds to her charm. Kimmy doesn’t know about new things, like what a hashtag is, and all of her references are super outdated. When she dances in a club, she brings a backpack with her (“does this backpack look babyish?”) and she proudly shouts, “dancing’s all about butts now!” while she has a GREAT time. Kimmy is so naive and adorable that she makes being uncool actually pretty cool.


The 10-second rule is a lifesaver.
Kimmy is definitely Queen of the Pep Talk, as proven by her advice to Buckley, and later Jacqueline: “You can stand anything for 10 seconds. Then you just start on a new 10 seconds.”

The flashbacks that show the origin of Kimmy’s 10-second rule are depressing, albeit shown in a comedic way — this is Kimmy Schmidt after all. Kimmy Schmidt is definitely a comedy, but moments like her “10-second rule” are strangely inspiring. Though they have no idea why they are spinning a giant mystery crank, watching Kimmy inspire her fellow “mole women” with the 10-second rule really moves me. I didn’t realize it until recently, but I now notice that I think in 10-seconds all the time. Though my struggle is nothing at all compared to Kimmy’s or her fellow kidnapped friends, it’s okay to find inspiration in television.

Know your self-worth.
The terrible Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne spent 15 years trying to convince Kimmy and the other women that they were stupid garbage people, which they very clearly are not. While his tactics did impact some of the other women, Kimmy still has a well of inner strength. She has no problem standing up for herself, her intelligence, and her individuality. She teaches us all that if you can know your self-worth and can stand by it, you will be able to do anything.


Dating is weird.
Kimmy enters the New York City dating world as a person who has basically no dating experience at all. When a guy at a club tells Kimmy he wants to kiss her, she over-enthusiastically tells him to do it . . . and things don’t get much better for her from there. Kimmy meets a few other eligible dudes though and, like most of us, she strikes out in love time and time again. She and Charles, Buckley’s tutor, briefly have a thing until things get awkward when they exchange misunderstood a “I love you.” Kimmy also dates Logan Beekman, a semi-possessive, self-proclaimed “Daddy’s Boy” who is obnoxious and too rich for Kimmy to even relate to.

And then there’s Dong, Kimmy’s classmate who has a crush on her, even though she’s dating Logan. When Kimmy finally realizes that she likes Dong back, things get a little complicated because he marries someone else in order to stay in the country. CLASSIC.

But for real, dating sucks and the way Kimmy handles her dating life — and the dating lives of her friends — is hilarious.

Spin class is a cult.
I mean, honestly. The LOL-worthy way the show handles Jacqueline and Kimmy’s obsession with SpiritCycle (clearly a parody of SoulCycle) is brilliant. Taught by Tristafé (played hilariously by Nick Kroll), Kimmy gets really into the class before realizing that it reminds her of the bunker and Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne’s cult. Tristafé ultimately ends up being exposed for the scam that he (and the class) is. Though I don’t think SoulCycle is a scam, I am always down to make fun of fitness trends. That said, if you find yourself in a class with an instructor named Tristafé, get out of there.


Opportunity is all around us.
Kimmy finds opportunity everywhere, from the moment she runs into Lillian sitting on a stoop, to the way she gets a job by following a punk little kid home. Kimmy’s ability to find opportunity anywhere is not limited to her own life, either. Kimmy helps Titus explore his dreams while constantly encouraging him to push himself. Kimmy is the kind of person you want on your side at all times.

Females are strong as hell.
The opening song to Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt includes the line “females are strong as hell,” which is hopefully something that gets stuck in your head as often as it gets stuck in mine. Walter Bankstown, a recurring character who was witness to the ladies being saved from the bunker, utters the now famous line while he is giving his eyewitness account to the media. Though it has now become a mantra for ladies everywhere (just search it on Etsy, seriously), the line also perfectly works for the theme of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Kimmy is strong as hell. She encourages everyone around her — her bunkmates, Titus, Jacqueline — to be strong as hell too. She also proves you can be silly and strong, and that the two are definitely not mutually exclusive.

We love you, Kimmy! Welcome back to our lives.

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