Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From (Fictional) Siblings

Well, I wrote about moms, so I thought I’d write about siblings, and maybe if I get around to it, I’ll write about dads. (Don’t hold your breath.) I have been feeling very sibling-sentimental lately—I mean, even more than usual.

For those of you who don’t know me, I have three brothers. I’m the only girl, and I used to hate that, but I couldn’t even imagine my life with another girl in it now. If I didn’t have my brothers, I am almost positive I would be a quarter of the human being I am today. All of the self-respect I have comes from the fact that I was worshipped by these incredible men. Though don’t get it twisted—they keep me super humble, as well.

Siblings are the best: they’re the only other people in the world who share your experience of growing up. They’re your biggest advocates, but also, your most honest critics. There’s a lot you can learn from siblings, even fictional ones. So without further ado, here’s what those made-up brothers and sisters have taught me.

1. Your brother loves you, no matter what.
Bart and Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons

Bart and Lisa are so me and my older brother. I remember the episode where Lisa is in charge hit so close to home that I think one of my brothers actually got mad at me, as if I wrote it. The point is, however, that no matter how much fighting goes down, your brother will always have your back.

2. Try to have different friend groups.
Brenda and Brandon Walsh, Beverly Hills 90210

I mean, let’s be real. . .even though these two are twins, their friend group is a little too tight-knit. Brandon dates her best friend, she dates his, then there’s that swapping thing. IDK guys. My brothers and I don’t have friends in common, so it wasn’t a thing. Dating any of my brothers’ friends was CERTAINLY not an option. Someone would have died.

3. Look up to each other.
Michelle, Stephanie, and DJ Tanner, Full House

There’s always a hand to hold onto in this family, but these three girls certainly had a special bond because of the loss of their mother. Growing up with a single dad + two more single dad-type figures was probably rough, but these girls taught each other a lot about life, love and self-respect. I mean, mostly DJ taught everyone stuff, but still.

4. Keep each other’s secrets. . .
Ross and Monica Geller, Friends

. . .or not, but god if I don’t love when the Friends confess stuff about each other.

5. If nothing else, talk to your siblings.
Judy and Peter Shepherd, Jumanji

When Judy and Peter’s parents die, Peter shuts down and won’t talk to anyone until they start playing Jumanji and meet Sarah Whittle and Alan Parrish, and who wouldn’t talk to them? It’s freakin’ Robin Williams and Bonnie Hunt. Anyway, it’s sweet because Peter talks to Judy, even when he’s not talking to anyone. I have a brother of few words. He always talked to me, so I think it’s endearing.

6. Always stick together.
Jack and Maggie Banning, Hook

IMO though, Jack could have taken a lesson or two from his sister, who stayed loyal the whole time, waiting for her dad. I know Jack had serious father baggage though, so I can get past it. In the end, Peter was a better dad, and the kids were probably fine.

7. Always prioritize your siblings.
Olive and Dwayne Hoover, Little Miss Sunshine

Oh, Olive. The only one who could get Dwayne out of the depression of his heartbreaking realization. Because that’s what siblings are for.

8. Volunteer as tribute.
Katniss and Prim Everdeen, The Hunger Games

I mean, Katniss literally volunteers to risk her life for her sister. I would definitely do that for at least two of my brothers.

9. Anything’s possible when you’ve got each other.
All of the Weasleys, Harry Potter

But most importantly, these four. Though I guess the Weasleys taught us everything anyway, right? I mean, Ginny handles her own so well with all of those brothers, and Fred and George are just the best, and Ron is a little lesson bomb on his own. The best siblings in the world, the Weasleys.

Call your family!
(90210 gif , Weasleys via, Katniaa via, Monica and Ross via.)