Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From Tina and Amy

Well dudes, the Golden Globes were on Sunday. And guess what that means? AWARDS SEASON IS ON, SUCKAS. And maybe that means nothing to some of you, and maybe (if you’re like me), it means the whole world. I admittedly don’t care about the Globes all that much except for the 3% it leaves me with for Oscar predictions, but this year (like last year), I care a whole bunch more for two reasons:

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

The insanely perfect duo hosted last year, and they hosted again this year, and they are hosting again next year, so next time I complain about anything in life, remind me of those simple facts. These two are everything. They are hilarious, and smart, and pretty (not that it matters, but they are!), and they have kids, and they are wonderful and and and and and. I guess I told my BFF/roommate the other night (there were drinks with limes in them involved, sooooo…) that we weren’t classy enough to be like Tina and Amy, but that we were more like Kristen and Maya. I don’t remember saying that per se, but I certainly agree with it! Not to say Kristen and Maya aren’t classy, but, you know…Bridesmaids is my life story basically.

That was a ramble. The only other thing I need to say before I get on with it is this: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are too close to my heart to just call them “Fey” and “Poehler,” so I will henceforth (see? I have class!) refer to them as simply “Tina and Amy.” Commence.

EINTKILF Tina and Amy, the Duo

1. How to be smart.
To be perfectly honest, of course Tina and Amy didn’t teach me how to be smart, but they certainly reassured me that it was okay. Far too often, female characters rely on ditziness rather than intelligence to get laughs, but neither Tina or Amy has ever had to do so. No one could ever accuse Tina or Amy of being unintelligent beings, and for that, the smart, sassy, funny girls of the world should salute them.

For the record, I know I am nowhere near as intelligent-funny as Tina or Amy, but I can still commend them for it.

2. How to be funny.
Well I mean, this one seems obvious, but Tina and Amy’s wide range in the variety of humor they are capable of really reinforces that there is no need to box oneself in. Movies like Baby Mama, a thousand different SNL characters, interviews, and hosting gigs all provide keen examples of the kind of comediennes I/we/they can be.

And girls need that. Women need that. MEN need that more than anything because the world needs strong examples of hilarity. Especially–and I hate that I have to say it–in women. Tina and Amy have always proven that there is not just one way.

3. How to rule a television show.
I feel like it is a generational opinion, but I truly believe that the Tina and Amy days of Saturday Night Live were the very funniest. I will give you Dana Carvey and Chris Farley days as a close second or maybe tie, but really, I don’t want to argue this. At least “Weekend Update” (more in a minute) was the funniest when Tina and Amy were hosting.

And even when Tina wasn’t on the show anymore, she and Amy still managed to make comedy history with their Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin sketches–Tina famously playing Palin, of course. Go girls.

4. How to make history.
Speaking of SNL, Tina and Amy made history when they became the first ever female anchors of Weekend Update.

They have also made history with the Golden Globes, for no other duo has hosted three times in a row. (Which they have been asked to do.) Obviously.

5. How to have a successful sitcom.
Both Tina and Amy had/have successful sitcoms with strong and hilarious female protagonists, and we all watch both of them.

So I mean…the key to their success in sitcomdom may have to do with them being Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but it also may have to do with great supporting casts, hilarious writers, and relatability, which always gets a red squiggly line under it, but I use it anyway. I don’t even know if we are supposed to relate to a person like Liz Lemon, but hey. It happens.

6. How to be a cool mom.

Tina wrote it, Amy played it, we all quote it. Brilliance.

7. How to feel about Justin Bieber.
(From Entertainment Weekly.)

Tina: Let that child be. Leave all the children alone.
Amy: Unless they act up, and then bring that child to me, and I’ll put that child over my knee and I will spank that child. Just how we both want it. I want to just give that child what he wants. But I think you gotta cover him! You gotta cover him with a blanket. Everyone needs a nap.

8. Arby’s is cool.
From Baby Mama.

Kate: Did you just stick your gum under my coffee table?
Angie: I don’t know.
Kate: What do you mean, you don’t know? You think you’re at an Arby’s right now?
Angie: You know what? I wish I was at an Arby’s ’cause there’s better food and cooler people there!

I went to Arby’s a lot in high school because the roommate of the guy I was in love with worked there, and let me tell you what…those Jamocha shakes are the bomb.

9. How to piss off Taylor Swift.
Remember last Golden Globes when the only part worth watching was the opening monologue? That’s almost never true! I must admit, though I am a fan of The Swift, her overreaction to the joke about “leaving Michael J. Fox’s son alone” was a little ridiculous–especially when she used the quote about there being a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. I mean…come on, that simply does not apply here.

Also, as an avid fan of MJF, I extra loved that joke, so to see Swift get upset about it was kind of a bummer.

10. Never care who likes it.
My favorite part–and it is hard to choose–from Bossypants, Tina’s first (hopefully there are more!) book is when she tells the story of Amy telling a dirty joke. She discusses how Jimmy Fallon (who I adore, don’t get me wrong!) was audibly disgusted by her humor in that moment, but Amy totally disregarded his reaction.

“Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t f-ing care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not f-ing care if you like it.”

Tina goes on to say that whenever anyone asks her if she has anything to say about the accusation that women aren’t funny (gaggggggggggg), her response is: “Yes. We don’t f-ing care if you like it.”

And I love that Tina was inspired by Amy’s words, and I love that both of those women embody that mindset in their work, in their personal lives, and definitely in their friendship with one another. They are, individually and as a unit, the most ideal female performers of our time. They have it all, and above even all of that, they support each other.

All women should love these women. All men should love these women. All everything in the world should love these wonderful, wonderful women.


Featured image via , 2014 Golden Globe promo via , Emmys image via ew.com.

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