Everything I Need to Know, I Learned From This Year’s Oscar Nominations

That’s right! I am in full blown Oscar FRENZY!

And Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for his fourth Oscar, which is a very good thing because I threatened to break my laptop, my own arm, and/or my iPhone if he was snubbed. Lucky for everyone (mostly my boyfriend who I woke up at 6 am to tell him the good news!), Leo was nominated. And now I won’t talk about it until later because there are other lessons to learn here besides Jessica Tholmer is nuts.

EINTKILF the Oscar Nominations

1. Meryl Streep rules the world.

Miss Streep received her eighteenth–eighteenth–Oscar nomination this year. She has only won three times (which is still a bunch of times, to be honest), but she is guaranteed a nomination whenever she is in anything, basically. Remember The Devil Wears Prada? Anyway, even if you are trying to be irritated by Streep’s Oscar domination, you can’t be! You cannot be mad at her because she really truly is always fabulous.

2. Jennifer Lawrence co-rules the world.

Everyone’s BFF J.Law was nominated for her third nomination, this year for American Hustle. (The other two were Silver Linings Playbook (her win!) and Winter’s Bone.) Anyway, Lawrence is freakin’ 23 years old, so that’s depressing and exciting, whichever way you choose to look at it. And even though she beat Kate Winslet’s record of the youngest actress with that many nominations, she still has quite some time until she has as many as my beautiful Winslet. And regardless, this isn’t all a competition, and I love Lawrence too, so it’s okay.

3. Goofballs deserve Oscar love too.

In the past when I was a bit more pretentious (I have gotten less so as I have gotten older, is that normal?), I used to hate when comedians were nominated for Oscars. I could let it slide every great once in awhile like when Robert Downey Jr. was nominated for Tropic Thunder—

–just kidding. That was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me personally.

Okay, but there are good examples like when Eddie Murphy was nominated (AND ROBBED) for Dreamgirls, because though he is a comedian, his role was deeper than that and he wasn’t quite the comic relief that he tends to be in that particular role. I will never get over Alan Arkin winning that damn Oscar, and I am a huge fan of Little Miss Sunshine. I am getting seriously off topic. This lesson is supposed to be about how comedians, and even more so, really silly dudes, can still act their tushes off sometimes. And Jonah Hill received his second nomination for Wolf of Wall Street (the first was for Moneyball) because that precious little goof who came from movies like Superbad can really, really act. Props to the Academy for acknowledging that.

4. Ellen just.. rules.

I know she has little to absolutely nothing to do with who gets nominated, I still very much adored her tweets about the nominations.

She is just my favorite, and I am so excited for her to host again.

5. David O. Russell sure can direct.

In case youare not aware, Russell also directed Silver Linings Playbook, also with Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. He clearly leads his actors straight into Oscar territory. Cooper and Lawrence, as well as Robert DeNiro and Jacki Weaver were all nominated last year for acting awards last year, and this year is no different for the killer director. All of his actors are nominated–Christian Bale, Cooper, Lawrence, and Amy Adams are all up for their performances this year.

Also, I Heart Huckabees. Come on, y’all.

6. Women are awesome. Duh.

Everyone, myself included, is usually pretty upset about the Best Actress category each year because it is usually a shoo-in for one of the actresses, whereas the Best Actor category tends to be the most competitive race of the night. In my not ever humble opinion, this usually is directly related to the fact that men simply have more roles to choose from, which means there are almost certainly stronger performances throughout the season, thus more competition on the Big Night.

This year, though? Are you kidding me? Streep vs. Judi Dench vs. Adams vs. Cate Blanchett vs. Sandra Bullock!? (She has my vote, for the record.) Those women are all stellar actresses with a million nominations and wins between the five of them. I must say, I got a little proud-woman-teary-eyed when I saw who was up. Good work, you wonderful examples of feminism.

7. Rock stars can be great actors, too.

I know nextto nothing about Jared Leto besides the fact that I had no idea what was going on in My So Called Life because I was a small child when it was on, and I mostly was distracted by his grunge hair that should not have phased me because I grew up in the 90s, but I just thought was really gross.

But anyway, Leto is up for an Oscar this year for his performance in Dallas Buyers Club, and it is not every day that a rock star is nominated for an acting award. Kudos to Leto, but I am still rooting for Mr. Jonah Hill.

8. Leos really can give up grudges. 

And I say this because Alfonso Cuarón has won me over. Years and years after his depiction of my very favorite Harry Potter book, I have forgiven Cuarón. Between the fact that Gravity was my favorite movie last year and his wonderfully touching Golden Globes speech, I am willing to put The Prisoner of Azkaban in the past. And they say I hold grudges!

9. Leonardo DiCaprio is the Best Actor.

There is not much I can say here without sounding like a, what do they call them?, crazy fangirl, but I guess I don’t really care. I know the whole internet has that joke about DiCaprio never winning anything, but some of us have been there the whole time, even before the sad, but kind of funny GIFs of his losing face were all over the world wide web. I have been watching the Oscars religiously since Titanic was nominated for fourteen Oscars, none of which were DiCaprio’s. I have never missed a DiCaprio movie in the theater, and I usually see them the first day they are released. I am nowhere near his biggest fan, because I do unfortunately have a bit of common sense and I can’t do stuff like keep up tumblrs dedicated to him or twitter accounts tweeting sweet nothings, but regardless, I am up there in the rankings. This is my boy, and I have wanted him to win for so long, but I have something really important to admit to you. I have never actually rooted for DiCaprio to win. There was just no way I was going to pretend his performance in The Aviator was better than Jamie Foxx’s in Ray, and I didn’t want him to win for Blood Diamond because I felt (I know) his performance in The Departed was way, way better and I was bitter and just thought Forest Whitaker should take it home anyway. (He did.)

But this year? I am sorry Bale (I’m not sorry), and I am sorry Matthew McConaughey, but it is Leo’s year. It is, it is, it is, and if he loses, all of those previous threats about breaking stuff are going to become a reality, so let’s all pray for me/him, okay? He’s my little piece of gold, and I want the world to accept his brilliance, finally.

10. Other things: Shoutout to Pharrell;Julia Roberts, just because I wanted to say her name; Lupita Nyong’o is the prettiest woman ever maybe?; is June Squibb not the cutest name ever?; and John Williams is the King of the Oscar World. I just want to leave you guys with the knowledge that he has won five Oscars, but he has racked up an insane number of nominations. His nom this year for The Book Thief marks number 49. Somebody stop him!

Just kidding. Don’t stop John Williams. His music is my childhood / life.

Just cause. Happy Oscar season!

Featured image via screencrush, J. Law image via ibtimes, best actresses image via businessinsider, Ellen twitter image via twitter, Wolf of Wall Street image via nypost.files, Kate and Leo image via sourceforge.