These are Elijah’s best one liners from the final season of “Girls”
It wasn’t exactly easy to say goodbye to all the characters in last night’s finale of HBO’s hit show Girls. We especially had a hard time saying a bittersweet farewell to Elijah, who arguably became the most hilarious and endearing character on the show, even though he had his many flaws (who didn’t, though?). This final season of Girls was an especially special time for Elijah to rise and shine. He got a lot more screen time, his nuanced relationship with Hannah was featured more often, and he landed a role on Broadway’s new musical “White Men Can’t Jump.”
As the characters on Girls changed and grew up — or, you know, didn’t — we found ourselves falling more and more in love with Elijah. Which leaves us with the ultimate question: HBO, will you please give Elijah his own spin-off TV show? Thanks in advance.
Here are the best one liners from Elijah, to make the goodbye a little less bitter and a little more sweet.
"Please remember to pack bug spray. I don't have want to have to put calamine lotion on your tender bits again."
"Hopefully the woman who invented Spanx will be there, because I have a LOT to thank her for."
"I actually came here to help our tiny little friend here! Not steal fine china. Or someone else's f*cking boyfriend..."
"I'm sorry I'm using my pizza hand. Just adding more grease to this situation."
"I just ended up accidentally taking, like, six Adderrall, I stayed up all night, I did a real deep dive into Ryan Dillon Davidson's Facebook page, and I found some shit."
"You gotta give your mom a little more credit than that, okay, she's way more chill than that. We almost made out once."
"[Loreen] is probably, like, just at a theater, fisting a box of Raisenettes."
"Loreen! No, sorry, sorry...not Loreen. Not your mother, not your mother. That was an ashtray person."
"This is a typical Hannah decision, like cutting your own hair or cyberbullying that girl you met at Barnes & Noble."
"Plus, everybody I know with great parents is boring as shit."
"But our kid's gonna have great skin and be the right kind of slutty!"
"I waited around all day to say, 'They stuffed it!' and I just got laughed at."
"Things are going great for me. Why should I help you with your white baby buying scandal?"
"I'm f*cking talented. I'm as talented as you say you are. That's how talented I am."
"I will give you one Demi, but then it's light's out. I had to unfollow her on Instagram. Too much negativity."
"Hannah you've made so many wonderful friendships here...That's not a thing!"
"This is the kind of fun we have. I steal yogurts and then we laugh about it."
I got it! I got the part in "White Men Can't Jump," the musical spectacular, you feckless whores! Hannah, I will see you at home tomorrow roughly around noon when I'm done partying this out. Eat a dick!"
We’ll miss you, Elijah!