Everything I need to know, I learned from Monica and Chandler

As I mentioned last week, we are in the month of ~love~ which means that it is time for another wonderful television couple. Though I actually was always a team Monica and Richard kind of a girl, I can fully appreciate Monica and Chandler for the functional (and adorable) couple that they are.

EINTKILF Monica and Chandler

Friendship is important.

I know a lot of people don’t believe in dating their friends, but I have never been that person. Have I dated friends and has it ruined the relationship? Yes, absolutely, but then again, we probably weren’t that close anyway. 


Monica and Chandler were friends for years before their semi-drunken hookup in London, but you know what? They make a much better couple than they ever made friends and if you don’t take that risk, how will you ever know?

Love is love, flaws and all. 

Monica and Chandler are two very flawed characters. Monica is obsessive, neurotic, and super high-maintenance. Chandler is sarcastic, cold, and I mean honestly pretty obnoxious. These two are well aware of each other’s flaws (as well as their own) but they both love each other in spite (and maybe because) of those things. It is really special if you can find someone who loves you even though you are [enter any quality you consider not great]. Especially if they say stuff like:”They can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like—maintaining you.”

Long distance can work. 

In all of its unrealistic glory, Friends did a pretty good job representing real life rough patches. Between episodes about financial struggle and seriously intense breakups that were worse than anything you’ve ever gone through, there is a lot of real emotion over the course of ten seasons.

Though Monica and Chandler have a pretty awesome relationship from the point of hooking up until the end of the series, they do overcome quite a few relatable obstacles–including long distance. Long distance is hard for many of us but Monica and Chandler had too much going on for her to pick up and move to Tulsa when he was offered the job. The two make it work, even over the holidays and bizarre situations like the potential of shark porn. I guess love is love and if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Proposals can be amazing.

Look, I am not a super “marriage-y” kind of a person. But I kind of love proposal stories, and there is not a better one than Monica and Chandler’s, imho. Not only do I love the unexpectedness of their proposal (you know, because they have that back-and-forth, Chandler-doesn’t-want-to, oh-hey-here’s-Richard thing), but I just genuinely believe in Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry’s acting and also their love for each other and their characters. The proposal makes me cry every single time and I have probably seen it four million times. 


Your partner should just get you.

There are a million examples of Chandler understanding Monica, and vice versa, but the moment that stands out to me the most is when Chandler convinces Erica that they are worthy of being the parents to her child.

Like honestly, we all have that friend that has always been a mother, long before she has any actual children. Monica is that friend and Chandler is well aware of that.

Chemistry is important.

Monica and Chandler had excellent chemistry before they ever even slept together. Moments like Chandler hugging Monica in a towel, or consoling her when Ross has his first kid, or at the beach, joking about being her boyfriend are all terrific examples of their super strong chemistry. Hey, maybe it is not everything, but chemistry should at least be considered. It makes a world of difference.

It’s OK not to announce your relationship right away.

I have z e r o idea how Monica and Chandler kept their whole thing from everyone (besides Joey, basically). If I were Monica, I would 100% need to tell at least Rachel about it, but I also understand the importance in not saying anything. Everyone’s opinions are hard to deal with and it is easier to present your relationship to everyone else once you have established what you are doing. It is okay to be together and not make some huge announcement until you are ready.

You can’t plan for everything.

Guys, listen. I think it is awesome that some people go on a date and then another date and then a third date and then they meet each other’s friends and then declare themselves exclusive and then start using titles and then meet each other’s families and so on and so forth. That’s great!

But sometimes, you just drunkenly sleep with your friend and end up falling in love. Sometimes, you declare yourself done with dating and meet the most wonderful person ever at a new job. Sometimes, you tell yourself that you will never talk to that one person again but then you do and everything feels right and awesome. And sometimes, nothing ever seems to work out and you feel dejected and bitter but then you meet someone at a coffee shop or on Tinder or through a friend and you remember that life is not about planning everything out.

Monica and Chandler certainly didn’t plan on anything, but everything worked out just perfectly for them. Who would plan on feeling terrible about themselves because of something a drunk guest at your brother’s wedding said to you? Who would plan on trying to hook up with your player friend and instead ending up in bed with, well, your Chandler-friend? Planning stuff out is silly sometimes. Let go and let live and breathe easy instead.

The spotlight isn’t all that.  Monica and Chandler were never the Friends couple. Monica and Chandler are second-in-command to the ever-evolving ROSS AND RACHEL MACHINE. Though I relate more to Ross and Rachel, or at least used to relate more, I have always appreciated Monica and Chandler for their true love. They just love each other, no gimmicks necessary. Being the couple out of the spotlight sounds super appealing to me.

GIFs via here, here, here, and here. Featured image via here.

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