Everything I need to know, I learned from Kate Winslet

There is no one more important to me than Kate Winslet and TODAY IS HER BIRTHDAY.

Look, I know that that sounds completely insane, and I know that I exaggerate a lot, but I actually mean that statement. Kate Winslet came into my life at a time that I had no idea would be so significant–but it was. Kate Winslet was the feminist icon that I didn’t know I needed–far before I knew what “feminist” or “icon” meant. Kate Winslet had the right attitude, and was the right size, and was just as beautiful of a woman as I needed at the time. (And that I still need now.) Kate Winslet in Titanic actually changed my life, and as crazy as that sounds, I actually mean it. I have written hundreds of EINTKILFs but if any of them were true, this would be the one.

EINTKILF Kate Winslet

1. Perfection is a myth.

If there is one thing that is true about Kate Winslet, it is that she is perfectly imperfect. To be completely honest, she is as relatable as a worldwide famous, incredibly talented actress can be. Winslet is not perfect because there is no perfect. (Though to me, she is perfect.) How refreshing is that? Knowing that a woman like Kate Winslet doesn’t consider her perfect is enough for me to realize that none of us can reach the level of perfection that so many of us strive for.

2. Unrequited love hurts.

“Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other,” she said in The Holiday. “But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair.”

If you have never seen The Holiday, I need you to stop reading this to go watch that instead. Winslet is a critically acclaimed, thousands-of-awards nominated actress. She has done countless films that are worthy of writing home about. Is The Holiday one of them? YES because she branched out in the opposite direction. When Winslet took on the role of Iris Simpkins, she took on a role that we could all understand. There is a reason that romcoms hold so true in all of hearts. Iris speaking on unrequited love, and fighting with the back-and-forth feelings with her ex Jasper (ugh, what a name), and falling in love with someone unexpected is something almost all of us can get. We get it, Iris. We feel you, Kate.

3. The media controls the image.

Winslet is so good at dropping these truth bombs consistently, all throughout her career. It is really inspirational to have such a particularly beautiful woman stand up and remind us that NOPE, the media is making sure we all feel like all of these people are perfect. With a simple sentiment like, “We do not look like that,” Winslet is reminding us (all of us, young and older women alike) that we should not be comparing ourselves to people who are made to look like people we should envy. Right? Right.

4. Being loyal is important.
Soyou know when Rose Dewitt Bukater says that she’ll “never let go” of Jack Dawson? And you know when people pretend like Rose meant that she would literally never let go of Jack’s physical body and they ruin the entire movie?? Okay, so that’s not what she means and it’s not what she does and anyone who truly believes in Titanic knows what she actually means. Rose never lets go of the PROMISE that she makes to Jack, which is to never give up, no matter what. She never lets go of the promise of riding a horse and doing adventurous stuff and dying an old lady, warm in her bed. And no, she never truly lets go of Jack because she meets him in Titanic heaven, even though she marries other people and has kids and stuff. Rose is loyal and tbh, I’m pretty sure Winslet is as loyal as Rose. And TO BE TOTALLY HONEST, I am really like super loyal to this motif and Winslet (and Rose and Jack and James Cameron).

5. How to treat your daughters.

Winslet is the greatest mother in the world basically and if your mom was like this, props to her as well. My mother did a stellar job ensuring that I was not body conscious. My mother, a short blonde woman, did a phenomenal job raising a woman who is, as my best friend told me tonight, “a beautiful giant.” There is no right or wrong way to be, and I extra appreciate women who do not let their daughters buy into the concept of looking a certain way just because. PROPS. 6. Be yourself.

I guess Clementine fits into the whole “manic pixie dream girl trend,” and I am extra sure that that is not the best kind of mentor for a young woman. That all being said, Clementine is one of the most interesting characters in recent cinematic history. She is wholly herself, even in and out of love with Joel, and though everything is really messy, they truly represent real love. It is messy. And she is wonderful. 7. Chase your passion. 

If Winslet worked on something that she was not passionate about, we would not have films like Sense and Sensibility, Titanic, The Reader, Revolutionary Road, Little Children, or any of the many, many other films she has completed. Beyond her films, Winslet has given us enough quotes and sound bites to cure a nation of insecurity. Chase your dreams, follow your passions, be as Kate Winslet as you can be. 8. Explore your imagination. 
In Finding Neverland, one of my favorite Winslet performances, we learn all about imagination. Sure, Peter Pan is a story that has been told time and time again (and Pan comes out soon!), but Winslet and Johnny Depp strike a really beautiful balance of imagination and realism. Alongside incredibly talented child actors, Winslet and Depp remind us that exploring the unknown, believing in “a bit of silliness,” and chasing your dreams are all the key to life’s success.  One of my favorite, favorite movies ever. 9. Change is everything.