Dog Beauty Pageants Exist… For Real

Leave it to the Taste of France to give its event of divine culinary experiences and wine tasting some added panache. 50 French bulldogs paraded in costume on two separate days this past weekend in New York City’s Bryant Park. When my friend Rachel informed me that her dog daughter, Alice Louise, was chosen out of hundreds to be one of the 50 bitches (had to), I got in a cab uptown. Naturally I was late and missed everything. I made a joke, “I thought it was 2 pm Paris time!” No one laughed.

Good thing people were still hanging around, sippin’ on rosé, because I got to meet these guys and gals:

This is- hold for it- Gumbeaux. (Gum-bow). Gumbeaux is one year old and beyond cute! Like, heart attack enducing levels of cute. I don’t know if Gumbeaux is a dude or a chick because his owner wasn’t that into me. Very French of him.

This man stole mine and everyone else’s heart. See ya, heart. This is Cruz. His owner knew her dog was owning the show. She was very nice and said today he goes by “Chef Cruz.” Cruz is 10 months old!

This is 6-year-old Cody. He….she? Whoops, I did it again (must work on reporting skills) has a lovely owner, who was discernibly female. She said Cody just came to watch. Cody was thirsty from all the spectating. French people in charge of this contest, if you do not pick Cody next year, we’ll call President Obama ourselves and ask him to stop all French exports except chocolate, wine, and men. We mean it.

Behold, Alice Louise! Alice has her own hashtag on Instgram #MissLadyPig. A resident of the East Village, Alice likes to make grunting and squealing noises when you don’t pay attention to her 24/7. She knows she’s cute. Sidenote: Miley Cyrus called and wants her tongue back.

Because I back up my facts, here’s Alice’s expression when she’s being ‘ignored’.

Other activities included a Kissing Booth to benefit Frenche rescues:

Who won? Everybody. They’re all winners. I, for one was rooting for Alice, but I guess the French are into this New Age hippie commune thing where everyone shines! For next year’s event I would appreciate them extending their philanthropy to free wine tickets for the least professional journalist, because I am ready to come in first place. Till then, Madame’s and Monsieur’s, au revoir.

All images: Lianne Stokes