Desperately seeking Nicole

I associate the past four years with one essential word: growth. The growth of my company, my bangs, my heart, and everything that comes with the impending womanhood of entering your thirties. Part of growing up, I’ve been told, is sharing — and no one’s better at it than my funny, well-dressed, well-read, and well-moisturized BFF of more than 15 years, Nicole Richie. Nicole loves to share. I’ve been lucky to be on the receiving end of it whenever I need it — but it’s time for me to share Nicole with everyone else. On November 8, access to Nicole’s many pearls of wisdom will no longer be limited to my soul, but opened up to you too, as she hosts her first, day-long Pearl xChange event.

Pearl xChange is a place where like-minded women can find “inspiration, empowerment, and a supportive space for growth and positivity.” This, according to producer and Pearl xChange co-founder Ramey Warren, is their priority. Nicole and Ramey met through work, started sharing (I told you Nicole loves to share), and came up with the idea of a full-day of live speakers. Ranging from actress and GOOP guru, Gwyneth Paltrow, to author and spiritual guru, Marianne Williamson, each woman was hand-selected by Nicole.

In a call between besties, that kept being referred to as a “phoner” (which made us both uncomfortable by the way), I make — ask—Nicole to tell me everything.

On starting this journey:

Sophia Rossi: OK, tell me about Pearl. Tell me everything about it! How did the name happen? What was the impetus?

Nicole Richie: The Pearl xChange is a live event for women who inspire personal growth. When my partner, Ramey, and I came up with the idea originally, it was meant for women in their 30s, who are in the process of building their lives. Women who are trying to understand the world around them. But after we got started on it, I’ve had 20-year-old women, and 60-year-old women alike tell me they want to come. Really what this event is, is six speakers who are huge inspirations to me, people that I learn from and that I’m friends with. Some of my greatest teachers. We’ll be talking about everything from building your business to conscious living, to health and wellness, to science. I wanted to really just introduce these seekers to other women my age.

On being a seeker:

SR: I love when you call these women seekers. What does a seeker mean to you? I think everyone has it in them, but maybe they don’t know how to articulate it.

NR: For me, a seeker is somebody who is trying to understand the world around them on a deeper level — looking out to the world, but also remembering how important it is to simultaneously look inward at themselves.

On the last few years, and opening up to the universe:

SR: It seems like, in the last few years, all these great women and things have come into your life. What do you think was the first moment when you realized you were a seeker?

NR: It was almost as if the second I was ready to take this in, there was a domino effect. For me personally, these incredible, experienced, wise women just came into my life. They became teachers to me. I got into this space of just quieting down and trying to listen. To take in every word that I can, to take in every experience I can, and just really try to understand things on a deeper level. And once I opened myself up to that, it all came.

SR: So do you think that first step then is just wanting this in your life? Like it wasn’t intimidating because you wanted it and were ready for it?

NR: I’m a huge fan of Esther Hicks, and I went to see her speak last year. She [and her husband, Jerry Hicks] wrote a book called The Law Of Attraction which says, “The essence of that which is like unto itself, is drawn.” Every action you make in life, whatever you think, whatever you speak — the words that you put into the universe, mean something. And it almost means everything.

SR: What’s the best way to approach being a seeker? Could this conference help start that?

NR: Yeah, definitely. But it’s only one aspect of the conference. This is also about building your business and creating the life you want to create. And understanding the power you have.

On “doing it all”:

SR: As a business woman myself, I’m so tired of hearing the question, “How do you do it all?” I just don’t think it’s very helpful. I’m more interested in how you decide what you want to do.

NR: I do get asked “how do you do it all” a lot, and the truth is, you don’t. Nobody does it all. You do what you can and everybody has different households and different set ups. I’m a wife, and I have two kids — so the triangle for me is family, and then everything else after that. But I think the more important message is to know you cannot do it all, and to set goals for yourself not based on what everyone else around you is doing. You are your own person. We each have our own footprint. This is a learning experience for me, too. I’m not one of the main speakers. I’m going to be sitting there taking notes like every other woman there. This is what I love to do. It’s what I do in my free time. I go to these women’s lectures all the time.

On female friendship:

SR: How important are other female relationships in your life?

NR: One thing that I’ve been really blessed with is female friendship. I’m so lucky to have these amazing, supportive female friendships. I cannot express how important that is. One woman’s success only leads to another woman’s success. And we have to help each other and join together. Instead of looking at each other’s differences as negative, we have to look at what we don’t know and understand that it could be our greatest strength. We only get stronger when we come together.

I love this. This is where Nicole thrives. Seeking out these other seekers, and bringing them together to share, with as many women as she can. The goal for her, she says, is to get as many women who want to learn in one room to “be together and ask questions together and share together.”

If you can’t get there live, don’t worry. The QUEEN of the super soul, Oprah, will have cameras present for a special they’re filming for OWN.

If you are in the LA area and want tickets, you can purchase them at:

Over the next week or so leading up to Nicole’s Pearl xChange event on November 8, she’ll be leading an Instagram campaign called #PEARLSOFMYLIFE highlighting the strong, inspiring women in her life (Pearl xChange is an empowering live-events series for women bringing together a mostly-female roster of speakers for a series of panels. Further details behind the event can be found on

Please post organically using genuine photos of you and your girlfriends letting them know they are the pearlsof your life. #PEARLXCHANGE #PEARLSOFMYLIFE

So, who are the pearls of your life?

Image via Sophia Rossi

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