This outfit secretly helps me cope with depression

I’ve been a night owl all my life, but a recent bout of depression has been keeping me up later and in bed longer. Almost every morning, I force myself up and at ‘em about nine minutes before I have to leave for work, which means – if I’m going to brush my teeth, eat breakfast, and/or glob on a coat of mascara before I trip out the door – I have exactly one minute and forty-five seconds to get my outfit together. Here’s what that typically looks like:

Not bad for someone who was awake until 3 a.m. emotionally eating Ritz crackers and watching YouTube videos about plastic surgery in Thailand, right?

When I’m feeling blue (like, dark blue, like navy blue), I try to notice small details that bring me even the slightest bit of joy. It keeps me, you know, standing.

This outfit may have recently been in a giant pile on my floor, but every piece of it helps me combat depression with positive associations.

For instance, these jeans come from a tiny store in Manhattan Beach, California, where the hilarious owner, Tammy, insisted she help me find a pair, popping in and out of the dressing room with the audacity of a mom and laughing when I tried to cover myself. I hadn’t bought a pair of jeans in over five years because I get so frustrated with my thighs, hips, knees, ankles, and general way of life, but this woman probably has no idea how much her patience and excitement over these pants helped boost my confidence.

Plus, unlike the 1,800 pairs of leggings I own, these have a perfect pocket for carrying a ‘lil rose quartz heart, a slightly overpriced reminder to love myself.

I have some really bad news about this Free People jacket. Like, you’re going to hate me.

And now. This shirt. This shirt makes me happy for three reasons:

This necklace is an incredible secret anti-anxiety tool!

For some reason, I associate wearing a watch with having your shit together, so I recently grabbed this one in the checkout line of an H&M. (The $20 watch actually cost more than the romper I was buying, which is the H&M-iest thing ever.) Don’t let this piece fool you, I do not have my shit together; I’ve turned the watch off so I don’t have to hear it tick or ever know what time it is. Healthy!

My ring is an heirloom (ha! I’ve just always wanted to say that). No, seriously, my great-grandfather gave it to me when I used to visit Los Angeles when I was a kid. Long story short, I moved here partly because of him, so this sparkly always reminds me that I belong in this city even when it feels like I don’t.

Oh, boy. Now you’re really going to hate me.

I know you have one lingering question and that is, “Where’d you get those beautiful matching socks?” Thank you for asking! I got these itty bitty stretchy guys on a stress-fueled Target run where I went in for sunscreen and ended up spending $200 on underwear…and NYX eyeshadow…and a 4-pack of these socks. Lucky for me, they are pretty much the only socks I own right now, so they always match. ~Movin’ on up!~

If you or a loved one is dealing with depression or a different mental illness, please know you’re not alone. Dressing in my armor of clothes and accessories that remind me of positive things helps me a lot, but of course you should find what works best for you. In the meantime, I’ll be spraying Febreeze on my Free People jean jacket to avoid doing laundry for another week.

Buy it all here:

Straight Cropped Jeans from Cello ($24.99 on Amazon)

Rose Quartz (I got mine from The Crystal Matrix, but they’re on Etsy for $24)

Lace-Trimmed Denim Jacket ($148 by Free People)

Ultra Soft T-Shirt ($40 by Lord Jones)

Aromatherapy Locket (5 pack, $11.99 on Amazon)

doTERRA Lavender Essential Oil ($23.31 on Amazon)

Wristwatch ($19.99 from H&M)

Copy-Cat of my heirloom ring ($299 from Zale’s, bonus points for clever engravings)

NYX Matte Lipstick in Butter ($6 on NYX.com)

Platform Sneakers (Seriously, there are nowhere to be found. I told you that you’d hate me! ASOS has these rose gold platform shoes that I bet are great for $42. You could … spray paint them black?)

Peds Sport Cut Liner Socks ($7.99 from Target)