How to date a Scorpio man or woman — and make it out alive

Halloween has just bid us farewell and we’ve been thrust into a new month. November welcomes us with open arms and a smirk, taunting us as we continue to move straight into it: the one time of year when our darkness takes over and our shadows are stirred. Scorpio season. Scorpio season is an intense time of year, when we’re faced with our own desires and nightmares in a new way. And while the season can be overwhelming and even scary, those born under the domain of the sign are often intriguing, mysterious, and incredibly sexy.

If you’re looking to date a Scorpio, there are a few things to keep in mind so you can have the most intense and transformative experience possible. We asked astrologer Emily Heather, aka The Voluptuous Witch, for advice on how to hook a Scorpion of our own — without getting bitten in the process. We promise that the payoff is worth it.

Scorpios often get a bad rap, but that’s not because they’re bad people.

It’s more that they’re comfortable with things a lot of other people aren’t. Emily explains,

"Scorpios have a bad rap because some of their expressed qualities are taboo, like jealousy or having a high sex drive. These are universal things, but Scorpio gets the rap because they express some of what is beneath the surface. Also, they can be somewhat vengeful and people sometimes want to get away with shit. Scorpio might not let you do that."

Scorpios may not sting often, but like the scorpion, when they do, it hurts. If you’re going to be in a relationship with a Scorpio, giving them time to trust you is important. Communication and honesty are vital, because Scorpios need to trust you before they’ll let you in. Emily reminds us that while they might be keeping a secret or two, keeping a secret from a Scorpio is not a good idea. Instead, tell them your secrets, and be honest about things like rescheduling or why you didn’t answer their text. “Missing info can breed paranoia,” Emily points out.

When you’re with your Scorpio, try to breathe into your feelings. Scorpios are familiar with their darkness, and they’re often charming. A real connection with one can be overwhelming, but remembering to keep yourself present (while remembering this person is also human) can be really helpful.

As for the best matches for the sign? “I like Taurus and Capricorn. Leo for some fireworks (sometimes from Hell), too,” says Emily.

Scorpio’s ruling planets are Mars — the planet of war, energy, and desire — and Pluto — the “planet” of sex, death, and transformation.

Scorpios are known for their darkness, for their kinkiness, for their love of sex, for their temper, for their passion, and for their drama. Dating a Scorpio isn’t for everyone, but who exactly is it for? If you’re interested in meeting your own depths by way of a partner, then it very well may be for you. And what better time to start exploring with Scorpios than during their season?

"During Scorpio season, the light shines on mysteries, blind spots, and sinful delights. This may not cast the Scorpionic part of our charts in the best light, actually, but the truth that emerges can be medicine if we use it right. Scorpio season is fun for Scorpios because suddenly everyone is on their wavelength. Although it’s a little like tourist season, too, like, 'Why are all these normies taking up space in my lane?'"

That leads to another thing to keep in mind with a Scorpio: being real.

Don’t try to be something you’re not because they’ll sense it. Instead, continue to be honest. Being in touch with your own needs, desires, and darkness is also a good way to start a relationship with Scorpio energy. Having a conversation about sex or death, or kink or love or transformation, may seem scary, but sometimes you’ve got to dive deep to catch the fish. And when you’re fishing for a Scorpio to love? Well, diving deep just might be the trick.

Good luck. Here’s to making it out alive.

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