Crush of the Week: Eddie Redmayne’s Freckles

Now that the holiday season is over, we can finally stop stressing about buying presents for people who will inevitably return them or combing the internet for the most comforting 2013 astrology predictions or figuring out if there’s an app that will turn your text history back in time and take back all those things you texted that one person when you were drunk on New Year’s Eve (sigh), and we can start focusing on what is really important to our day-to-day lives. Namely, we can finally spend our time meditating on Eddie Redmayne’s freckles.

Eddie Redmayne may be your typical well-educated, high-cheekboned, staggeringly talented British actor on the rise. I mean, he’s got Eton and Cambridge on his Curriculum Vitae (for Americans, that’s European for “super long resume that sums up your life story”) and he’s appeared in a number of high profile television and film projects like Songbird, The Pillars of the Earth, My Week With Marilyn and Les Miserables. He looks really good in suits and my mom actually recognizes his name and chiseled-from-marble face. So far, pretty average for your above average looking British actor with talent.

That all said, Eddie Redmayne has a secret edge over his peers. See, what sets him apart from his young British contemporaries, like Tom Hiddleston or Andrew Garfield or anyone who’s ever been on Masterpiece or anyone who is on my list of future potential marriage partners, is that he has what might be the world’s best freckles. Actually, strike that. He literally has the world’s best freckles and I love them.

Conventional wisdom has always held that freckles are blemishes. Even though I personally am covered in freckles that resemble moles that resemble the early stages of possibly fatal skin cancer, I wholeheartedly disagree with this antiquated notion of beauty. I think freckles are gorgeous. They are the shadows of times of your life in which your face has been by the sun. In Eddie Redmayne’s case, though, his freckles look more like marks from being kissed by thousands of tiny angels.*

If you saw Les Miserables, you would have noticed Eddie Redmayne’s freckles a lot. I mean, you also would have noticed that he has a decent tenor and looks great in clothes. (I know I’ve already mentioned this, but he looks seriously good in clothes. I mean, he’s modeled for Burberry as a part-time job. The closest I’ve come to modeling for a major British fashion house was when I stood in the window of the Christiana Mall’s old Limited Too for a few hours to get a discount on their clothes.) But the thing I noticed the most was his beautiful freckles. If you think this is weird, well, I have to tell you that you are wrong. The movie is shot 80% in close ups and Eddie Redmayne’s face is covered in magnificent specks of glory. How could I not notice? I have eyes and a heart and both are open for those illustrious freckles.

Do you remember in the film how Eddie Redmayne’s freckles glistened like shining beads of amber when he cried about empty chairs and empty tables and how there was no one left alive at the bar to pick up his tab? They didn’t just glisten like amber, though. They glowed like lights in the darkness. Do you remember Eddie Redmayne’s freckles declaring their love for (ugh) Cosette? I don’t think Eddie Redmayne himself could have conveyed his earnestness as well had his freckles not slightly blushed into a rose wine colored shade that the exact moment where he signs, “I’m doing everything all wrong.” And then I slightly blushed. But my freckles stayed weird and kept resembling moles that resemble the early stages of skin cancer.

You see, I’m trying to explain that Eddie Redmayne is really great. He’s handsome, dapper and talented. Those are fabulous crushworthy things. But his freckles? Dear God, they’re making me feel things and my body is starting to cave in and swoon.

*This sounded romantic in my head while I was typing this, but then when I imagined what it would look like for a man to be surrounded by tiny angels and then kissed by them, I was creeped out. Anyway, I still think that’s what Eddie Redmayne’s freckles look like.

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