Courtney Stodden: So This Is A Thing That Happened

Courtney Stodden (you know, that girl from the thing, I think it was on VH1? Maybe?) showed off her acting chops recently in a YouTube video that I can only presume was self directed, produced and catered. Also I’m pretty sure she hung the sheet in the background herself, but I can’t confirm. In a brunette wig, a lingerie-chic outfit and enough eyeliner to make Robert Smith cry, she pretends to be her own half-sister and rants faux-drunkenly (at least I think it’s faux) for almost 3 minutes about Courtney Stodden and how fake she is.

This could go so many ways, you guys. It could be satire, aimed at all the naysayers of her career! It could be a jab at everyone who isn’t blonde being a cranky, drunken non-conformist! It could be performance art! For all we know, she’ll take off her mask and reveal that she’s really Andy Kaufman! And that Andy Kaufman is still alive!

More than anything, Courtney is probably just acting out her insecurities. She sits in front of the camera in fishnets and a wig, pretending to be a made-up sister, ranting about how Courtney’s face isn’t real. She says, “I would never go and move to Hollywood and marry some bald washed up D-lister. I’m not a f*** whore.”

Normally I would be all “why are you using ‘whore’ as a derogatory term, stop setting back female empowerment! Etc! Etcccccc!!!!!!” but I honestly can’t tell if Courtney needs an intervention from Ms. Norbury or is calling out people who have said she’s a whore. In her own clumsy, painful to watch, wait-why-is-there-a-dog-here-now kind of way, Courtney seems to be taking all the insults that I assume people throw her way, and trivializing them. Which, in a way, is kind of awesome.

I just wish she could have rocked it without the whole whore bit. I mean, seriously. I’m just over it. Whether it’s about her throwing the word around, or other people throwing it around at her, can we all just stop using it? It makes my anger tired. I’m just so exhausted with the idea that it’s fine to presume, on the regular, that women use their bodies as currency, that we do so willingly, and that it’s OK to label this and use it as an insult. There’s no one-word insult for anyone who perpetuates a patriarchal system in which a woman is encouraged to be objectified and discouraged to use her intellect. I mean, “a**hole,” “ignorant sh*thead,” or “f*ckoffington” are applicable, but they aren’t really specific enough, you know?

As for Courtney’s video, it’s just kind of a hot mess. Whatever she’s trying to accomplish, I’m not sure why it’s happening. She’s dragging herself around the floor in fishnets, painful-looking heels and a corset, ranting about herself in the voice of a fictional alter-ego. Who is drunk? Or just slurs a lot? I’m mostly confused as to why this happened at all:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMY6F49Dex4