Congressman Reveals All His Feels in Texts with Complete Stranger

After that Game of Thrones Season 4 premiere, this week started off all about chicken. With the final season of Mad Men now upon us, hopefully your DVR can handle the extra workload. Of course, it’s also Passover and Easter week. So, here’s a little refresher in case you need an assist dealing with those upcoming family gatherings.

And while some nights this week may be different from all other nights, lest we forget a new “The Week In WHAT?!

The Texty Congressman

Dear members of Congress, there is only one Frank Underwood, and he’s a fictional character. It appears Rep. Vance McAllister (R-La.) recently added fuel to his own personal life fire when he fell victim to a text exchange. Despite previously apologizing for being caught on camera during a sexy tete-a-tete in his office, McAllister dug himself into another hole after rather candidly replying to an anonymous message that read, “Hey bro. How’s your day goin.” In fact, he continued replying to subsequent texts before finally dropping the conversation. Surprisingly, no eyes were harmed during the exchange as any potential half-naked selfies and pics of his junk remained safely in his possession. At least someone’s learning.

The Atheist Who Thought He Found Jesus

Two things people frequently shy away from discussing are religion and politics as passion can quickly turn up the heat on an otherwise casual chat. In the case of one atheist living it up in Orlando, tensions allegedly escalated when he mistook his roommate for Jesus. According to reports, he believed the son of God came with a mission to kill him, and he decided to take matters into his own hands. The man later requested he be assigned an atheist attorney. What a modern-day take on The Odd Couple!

Your Love-Hate Relationship with Facebook

If you’ve noticed sudden mood swings after browsing your Facebook news feed for updates on your so-called friends, you’re probably not alone. An Austrian psychology study found that people who spend more time on the social network often experience “envy, lowered life satisfaction of basic psychological needs, and dampened mood.” Additionally, the results revealed people tend to leave their Facebook viewing experience feeling as though they’ve “wasted time on a meaningless activity.” Talk about the need for a “Dislike” button.

How’s It Going, Four Eyes?

Suffer from arachnophobia? Skip this. Researchers discovered that the ancient ancestors of the crawlers commonly known as “daddy longlegs” likely had four eyes. The new finding comes from x-ray models based on a 305-million-year-old fossil from France. Beyond having legs for days, these arachnids had eyes in the center of the head and on the sides. Well played, science. But it’s not like they had eyes in the backs of their heads!

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via The New Republic.

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