Chrissy Teigen Said She Feels Like She Never “Fully Processed” Losing Baby Jack
She added that Jack will be "part of our little family" forever.
Chrissy Teigen is getting candid on Instagram about the loss of her baby son, Jack, last September and her decision to become sober shortly thereafter. She shared her feelings about her pregnancy loss in an August 22nd Instagram post, nearly a year after the tragic day.
Teigen documented her pregnancy complications on social media and shared a series of photos from the hospital to Instagram after she was hospitalized for excessive bleeding last year.
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” Teigen captioned a September 2020 post sharing the painful news. “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
Nearly a year later, the model and cookbook author shared that she’s been feeling slightly down lately and explained that it all started when she was working on a caption for her new book.
“I was thinking of my book caption and typed out ‘my third baby is here!!’, as in cookbook, then realized my third baby will never be here,” Teigen wrote on Instagram. She added that she “threw [herself] into the book” as a coping mechanism to avoid thinking about the loss of baby Jack.
Teigen also addressed coping with painful emotions without alcohol to numb the pain. She has been sober for eight months and explained that she made the decision to stop drinking because she was “tired” of waking up feeling sick and embarrassed. Teigen also said she had developed a habit of day drinking, which lead to feeling unwell by 6 p.m. and struggling to fall asleep.
“I don’t really feel like I fully processed jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb it away, things are just…there, waiting to be acknowledged,” Teigen wrote in her post. “I guess what I’m saying here is life is so fucking complicated.”
She ended the post on a hopeful note. The photo showed she and husband John Legend smiling while they sat at Frank’s Restaurant in New York City. Teigen said the couple has been going there for 13 or 14 years and she used to never miss Thursday, which was lasagna verde day. She recommended “getting the lasagna” and concluded that the past year of her life has “been a rollercoaster.” Based on her smile in the photo, it looks like things are looking up.