Signs you’re in a chill relationship with staying power

Relationships can be tricky to navigate, and occasionally, differences between two people can make for some uncomfortable conversations and situations. And most of us in relationships do fight and do argue and do disagree with our partners sometimes —that’s only natural. But when you’re in it for the drama…Then maybe it’s time to reevaluate. Because jealousy, snooping, and gossiping (especially when it’s done in public or on social media) is just not very fun.

When you’re in a relationship that’s laid back, there isn’t much drama. Or excessive fighting. Or unnecessary jealousy. And this kind of relationship is based on trust and communication and probably just plain simpatico. How do you know you’re in a laid-back relationship that’s going to last? Here are some signs.

You don’t need to do every single thing together.

If your partner’s really feeling like watching Top Gear on Netflix, but you’d prefer to finish reading that book that you’ve been thinking about ALL WEEK, that’s totally cool! You two can do your own thing without pressuring each other to partake in every activity together.

In fact, you have your own separate hobbies.

Sure, there are definitely some activities you love doing together, but maybe your partner’s very devoted to his or her music, while you’re passionate about writing. You both make sure to make time for your hobbies, because you know that you shouldn’t make your relationship the only part of your life. And because of that time you spend enriching other areas of your lives, the two of you are closer than ever.

You laugh together. 

According to a recent study published in the journal Personal Relationships, researchers found that couples who laugh together stay together. “In general, couples who laugh more together tend to have higher-quality relationships,” University of North Carolina social psychologist Laura Kurtz, who conducted the study, told TIME. “We can refer to shared laughter as an indicator of greater relationship quality.”

You encourage each other to relax.

Maybe it’s date night, and you’re supposed to go out to eat together, but you or your partner seems stressed and exhausted. There’s no pressure, because you two can always postpone date night to later in the week, and you always have each other’s happiness in mind.

You both have your own friends. . .

Of course, when two people are together for a length of time, they’re bound to develop a group of friends that they share together. But you still have your friends that you met before the relationship began, and you can hang out with them without any pressure, knowing your S.O. will be totally cool with it.

. . . and you encourage each other to hang out with said friends.

Your partner may say, “Hey, you haven’t seen *insert your old college friend’s name here* for a while, how she’s doing?” That’s because neither of you are threatened by other people being in your partner’s life, and you know that those friends make your partner happy, and vice versa.

You don’t have to get all dressed up to see your special person.

In fact, you’ve shown up to his place with dirty hair and sweatpants, because that’s totally normal. You both are so chill and comfortable that you don’t need to get dolled up to impress each other every single time you spend time together. (But if you feel like getting dolled up, that’s totally great, too!)

You communicate very well. . . 

Neither of you randomly drops off the radar or ignores texts entirely. You both have similar communication styles, and even if you don’t, you keep each other’s differences in mind and try to meet in the middle.

. . . but there’s also no pressure to text back *immediately*.

You both understand that sometimes, people are busy, or forget to send a text. And because communication isn’t a chronic problem for you, your partner is totally chill with you forgetting to text them back every now and then, and vice versa.

Silence isn’t awkward.

When you’re together, you don’t need to fill up empty spaces with constant talking. You can sit together, content to be with each other, and that’s totally OK.

Arguments generally come in the form of heated conversations — and they don’t last long.

Of course, we’ve all had serious fights, but you and your partner are such relaxed people who just want harmony and compromise, and you don’t draw out fights for the sake of drama, pain, or tears. Your end game is never to hurt your partner, and vice versa — just to come to an agreement that will make you both happy. Love comes before being right for the sake of being right, always. <3

(Image via CBS.)