Ana Defillo
Updated August 12, 2016
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Hari Nef/Instagram

Hari Nef, transgender model and actress, live tweeted her tracheal shave on Thursday through a series of excited, hilarious, and contemplative posts.

The 22-year-old revealed some of her complicated feelings towards wanting and getting the surgery. In one of the tweets, Nef reflected, “i’m really happy i got my eve’s apple removed but it still makes me sad that i was never made to feel feminine-looking enough when i had it.”

In a recent must-read Teen Vogue interview with Orange is The New Black actress and activist, Laverne Cox, Nef expressed similar thoughts.

In a 2015 Vogue.com interview, Nef explained why she didn’t want to hide her transition, “I could have hid in Boston and lived at home for three years … gone through my transition, taken voice lessons to make my voice more feminine, gotten gender reassignment surgery, and spent time to complete my transition before I made my debut in fashion or film, but I didn’t want to wait!” She continued, “I wanted to be in the world. I’m not trying to self-aggrandize, but it’s more than a job to me. It is political.”

Post-surgery, Nef got real.

Thanks for sharing this moment with us, Hari. Hope you get some Hulu and chill and we can’t wait to see all your cute new metal chokers.