Sophia Bush opens up on why she's not trying to find "the one," and you need to hear it

C Flanigan/Getty Images

Everyone has a different view on relationships and we love to hear them all. Actress Sophia Bush finally reveals what she learned from her divorce from Chad Michael Murray. Her honesty and relationship advice is definitely something you’re going to want to hear.

It’s very rare that Bush talks about Murray and their relationship, but she just opened up about it in a letter for Cosmopolitan’s February issue and her revelations are really interesting.

In 2005, the Chicago P.D. actress married her One Tree Hill co-star, but five months later they called it quits. Now more than 10 years later, Bush is talking about that romance (without including Murray’s name) and opening up about her thoughts on relationships in general.

“In my ’20s, when I was starting out my career as an actor, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but one found me and became serious, even though I hadn’t planned to settle down until my ’30s,” Bush wrote in her Cosmopolitan essay. “But when the person you’re with asks you to marry him, you think: ‘This must be happening because it’s supposed to.'”

Instead of throwing Murray under the bus or dwelling on the failed marriage, Bush continued to open up about romance and the crazy need to find “The One.”

sophia-bush-chad-michael-murray
Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic/Getty Images
“I refuse to let that one relationship define me, which is why I’ve done my best to avoid discussing it for 10 years,” she explained. “The reality is that, yes, it was a massive event in my life. And the trauma of it was amplified by how public it became, which was incredibly foreign and bizarre to a girl who’d been just another college kid 24 months before her life blew up.”

After that breakup, the 34-year-old actress said she leaned on a guy friend for support. The two later became more than friends and through that short-lived romance she learned something very important.

“Ever heard the phrase ‘It’s a reason, a season, or a lifetime?’ Well, this particular relationship was just a season, but still, it was life shaping,” the actress revealed. “It truly was my space to heal. And I was able to process all that had happened and find a deeper understanding of love.”

That understanding of love led Bush to her current philosophy on dating and “The One.”

“I came to appreciate that relationships often serve a specific purpose at a certain point in time, for myriad reasons. Some are meant to heal you, some are meant to teach you how to build yourself up, and some are meant to show you how to trust your own intuition,” the California native explained.

“You call in exactly whom and what you need over the course of your life, as you are learning life’s lessons. And learn them you will,” she continued.

“Even if you try to avoid these teachings, they’re coming for you. This reality has taught me that the relationships that don’t lead to lifetime commitments are not failures. Not every love can last forever.”

The Chicago Fire actress then admitted that relationships are never black and white and it’s in the middle space that you figure things out.

“Often in between those two, you find the keys to what you need in partnership: what you’re willing to give, what you want to get, and what things are absolutes that you cannot compromise on,” she wrote. “A few months with the right person can be as great an experience as a decade-long union with someone else.”

This one's mine, k? #EveryoneGetsAPonyForTheirBirthday

A post shared by Sophia Bush (@sophiabush) on

“When you take the pressure of The One off, you’ll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You’ll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place,” the concluded. “Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. They’re all valid.”

Wow, wow, wow. This is such an inspiring and though-provoking piece about love. We truly commend you Sophia for writing such a powerful ode to romance…modern romance.

What do you think HelloGiggles readers? Did Bush speak to you?

More like this

sophia bush
newsletter illustration

Giggles in Your Inbox

!