Mike Pont/WireImage/Getty Images
Meaghan Kirby
April 06, 2017 11:16 am

Guys, today is the day. The one we’ve been waiting for ALL year. Today is Paul Rudd’s birthday! Today he’s turning 49, but let’s be real, if we hadn’t just told you that, you would literally never know is age. THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN IS AGELESS. 

Since first stealing our hearts as Josh in Clueless, Paul has gone on become our favorite comedic actors, from his bad boy Andy in Wet Hot American Summer and suffocated husband Pete in Knocked Up to his more serious roles in The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Fundamentals of Caring. He may be an Avenger now, but he’ll always be lovable Paul Rudd to us.

To celebrate his birthday and many iconic roles, we’ve put together 49 of the best and most hilarious quotes from Paul’s movies.

1. “They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.” – Brian Fantana, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

2. “Man they won’t change that stupid flyer, Chuck’s my mainland name, my Hawaiian names Kunu.” – Kunu/Chuck, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

3. “Why don’t you just take a jerk, you hike!” – Joel, They Came Together

4. “We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.” – Josh, Clueless

5. “Did you know that the best night I’ve had in the last 5 years is a night that Zooey and I split a bottle of wine, we made a summer salad and watched ‘Chocolat’ together?” – Peter Klaven, I Love You, Man

6. “One question…Is it too late to change the name?” – Scott Lang, Ant-Man

7. “Isn’t it weird, though, when you have a kid and all your dreams and hopes just go right out the window?” – Pete, Knocked Up

8. “It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.” – Brian Fantana, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

9. “They say if you make one friend on your first day you’re doing okay.” – Mr. Anderson, The Perks of being a Wallflower

10. “Laters on the Menjay.” Peter Klaven, I Love You, Man

11. “It’s suffering and it’s pain and it’s… You know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight, and then you, you know, you call them a bunch of times and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email, but that’s just love.” – David, The Forty Year old Virgin

12. “First of all, I don’t get worked up over Mad Men….What Don Draper has gone through beats whatever Jack is running from on some fucking island.” – Pete, This is Forty

13. “Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!” – Peter Klaven, I Love You Man

14. “The weather outside is weather.” – Kunu/Chuck, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

15. “Ah, well ah… simply put… ah, I’m currently unemployed, my girlfriend recently broke up with me, er I will soon run out of money and er I’m the target of a federal investigation.” – George, How Will You Know

16. “Get out here, Panda Jerk!” – Brian Fantana, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

17. “When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons,’ and bail.” – Kunu/Chuck, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

18. “Look, I’m just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?” – Josh, Clueless

19. “Marriage is like that show Everybody Loves Raymond except it’s not funny. All the problems are the same but it’s, you know, instead of all the funny pithy dialogue everybody’s just really pissed off and tense. Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” – Pete, Knocked Up

20. “I don’t know why they call it a cam-paign because up until now, it’s been a cam-pleasure.” – Bobby Newport, Parks and Recreation

21. “You taste like a burger. I don’t like you anymore.” – Andy, Wet Hot American Summer

22. “Tastes like a rainbow.” – Pete, Knocked Up

23. “You sound like you’re from London.” – Kunu/Chuck, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

24. “Sorry I’m late, I was saving the world. You know how it is.” – Scott Lang, Ant-Man

25. “I like to think that if you put your trust out there; if you really give people the benefit of the doubt, see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.” – Ned, Our Idiot Brother

26. “Don’t talk to me about responsibilities. I have a life. I have a family. I can’t afford to sit in my apartment getting high, jerking off, and then going to Tommy’s Chili Burgers at three o’clock in the morning.” – Pete, This is Forty

27. “My name is Mike and I do play Piano.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

28. “Wait I didn’t steal anything! I was returning something I stole!” – Scott Lang, Ant-Man

29. “I think I was in love once.” – Brian Fontana, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

30. “You got it, Joben.” – Peter Klaven, I Love You, Man

31. “Pick on someone your own size!” – Scott Lang, Ant-Man

32. “ I love your sweater. Does that come in a V-neck?” – David, The 40-Year Old Virgin

33. “No Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap. Last name Bag.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

34. “We are all just one small adjustment away from making our lives work.” – George, How Do You Know

35. “You get mad if anyone thinks you live below Sunset.” – Josh, Clueless

36. “My dad is friends with John ‘Cougar’ Mellencamp.” – Bobby Newport, Parks and Recreation

37. “Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

38. “No, I like to rock n’ roll all night and part of every day. I usually have errands. I can only rock from like 1-3.” – Danny, Role Models

39. “Snitches wind up in ditches!” – Pete, This is 40

40. “Hey, in some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo-casual, but in some parts, it’s considered cool to know what’s going on in the world.” – Josh, Clueless

41. “Things are about to get wild.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

42. “Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.” – Mr. Anderson, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

43. “She’s going to be Mrs. No Balls.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

44. “So you don’t want to make a night of it with the Ring a Ding Kid?” – Josh, Clueless

45. “I will see you there, or I will see you on another time!” – Peter Klaven, I Love You, Man

46. “Phoebe, I love you. I mean… I missed you so much these past few months, and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then… I suddenly realized that… there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.” – Mike Hannigan, Friends

47. “I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.” – Pete, Knocked Up

48. “Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.” – Josh, Clueless 

49. “Does anybody have any orange slices?” – Scott Lang, Captain America: Civil War

Happy Birthday, Paul. We love you!

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