One of our beloved One Direction dudes is all grown up! As you may have heard, Liam Payne recently had a baby with his wife, singer Cheryl, in late March.

The two went ahead and named their son Bear. Because they are celebrities and are basically legally required to give their kid an amazing name.

Liam Payne recently went on The Graham Norton Show to talk about the not-so-glamorous side of celebrity parenting.

Payne explains to Norton that he was “there at the birth” and it was “the most amazing thing.”

Then he gives us the down and dirty. And when we say “dirty,” we mean we sincerely hope your gag reflex isn’t too easily triggered because this story is about to get GROSS.

So far, so good, right? Well, there’s always a calm before the storm. As Liam goes on to explain, Bear wakes up the following morning at 5 AM. Liam, now being a diaper-changing pro, offered to change the first nappy of the day.

It’s here that Liam Payne gives us “fountain arms” to demonstrate. He adds that in his head “there was music going on in slo-mo” and “the lights flickered on and off.”

Well, at least Payne acknowledges that changing a diaper is NOTHING in the face of, you know, giving birth to a human child.

It’s been two months since the Weepocalypse, so we’re sure Liam is an old hand at changing diapers at this point.