Gordon Ramsay is known for running a tight ship in the kitchen, and can often be sort of scary. Which is why it’s insane that Stephen Colbert asked Gordon Ramsay to critique his PB&J sandwich — obviously, it wasn’t going to end well. Ramsay appeared on Colbert’s show last week to talk about his new series, The F Word. After talking about the program, Colbert asked him to taste his signature sammie. Granted, Colbert introduced the sandwich by saying that cooking something and getting berated by Ramsay was on his bucket list.

Ramsay watched Colbert make the sandwich and picked him apart for using plain, un-toasted, “anemic” white bread. Then, things got messy as the late-night host started to spread the jelly and peanut butter around. Obviously, it was totally uneven. Things went south when Colbert cut the corners and gave it to Ramsay to taste. The chef just tossed the American classic straight over his shoulder.

But what did Colbert expect from Ramsay?

“That’s a f—king disaster,” the two joked. (It actually wasn’t, it looked just perfect.)

Then again, what would Ramsay know about delicious American sandwiches, anyway? During the segment, he also complained that one of his pet peeves about the United States is our sammies. “You walk into a deli and the sandwiches are 12-feet tall. You can’t eat it,” he said.

Like the true patriot that he is, Colbert was aghast at the criticism. “No, that’s a sandwich. That’s the sandwich of a world super power,” the comedian joked. Ramsay remained totally unconvinced.

Ramsay also said that he’s always been a picky eater. The chef admitted that he used to be grossed out by the skin on top of a stew (you know when the fat comes up after it sits for a while) and would ask the cafeteria workers at school to skim it off for him. He’s a hard man to please, but now at least we know how Ramsay likes his sandwiches — in case we ever have the poor luck of serving him one.