Dieting is the absolute worst. We’re lucky that, as non-famous people, we can choose to eat whatever we want, whenever we want, and set our own goals about food and fitness. It’s not like celebs have it very hard, what with their amazing access to all the healthy food and healthcare imaginable, but they do sometimes have more pressure to stick to their fancy diets and workout routines, especially when they’re trying to stay in a certain kind of shape for a role. But that doesn’t mean they have to like it.
Take Chris Pratt’s food Instagrams, direct from the set of Jurassic World 2. They’re abso-freaking-lutely hysterical. There’s a whole series of them. In the first one, he introduces his new “What’s My Snack?!” segment in a sing-song voice as he tries to read a label on a package that we can’t see yet.
It sounds like he’s having a mini-stroke, but as it turns out, he’s just trying to pronounce “cacao baobab banana chia.” For non-health nuts, those are things that are good for you that, when combined, look like Jurassic World dinosaur poop. But it is loaded with good carbs and proteins.
Hmph, as Pratt says in the video. We’d rather a sandwich, too. Please watch this poor, hilarious soul pretend to enjoy his snack.
The next #WHATSMYSNACK video is captioned, “watch me eat cat food like a good little boy.” LOLOLOL.
This time he gets “Assorted Sashimi.” Grunting like caveman to match the Paleo snack, he picks up a random piece of fish and devours it as if it were delicious. Never sounding like he’s upset, the recreational fisherman in him says:
“This smells and tastes just like Berkley Power Bait. I get it. I see why trout love it.”
He goes ahead and shovels in a mouthful of seaweed, finally speaking the truth. “This is the kind of thing that, when you’re as hungry as I am, everything tastes really good.” Pratt says.
We know exactly what you mean, brother. He’s got a good attitude at least, but it’s also a good reminder that looking a certain way in Hollywood is a thing that men have to deal with, too. They still get paid more and get roles when they get old and wrinkly, which is a perk, but there’s no way Pratt is eating that stuff because he wants to. That is the face of a dude who wants a steak and a baked potato.
Here’s one from later in the day…
Uh, Chris? Can you please keep these #WHATSMYSNACK videos coming?