If we asked you to name a perfect Hollywood couple, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard might be your go-to answer. But even the seemingly perfect have their struggles. Bell appeared on Harry recently and revealed that during the first few months of her relationship with Shepard, they would get into “toxic” fights.

Finally, three months into their relationship, Shepard sat Bell down and told her that she needed to stop leaving during fights. As Bell pointed out, Shepard has a very “high standard and a strong code of ethics,” and respects himself.

He told her he refused to fight like that.

The pair worked on developing healthy coping techniques for when they disagreed, which ultimately led to a healthier relationship overall.

Honestly, we’ve learned a lot from Bell’s story. The key to a lasting, strong relationship isn’t never fighting (because let’s be real, that’s impossible). It’s effective fighting (otherwise known as strong communication). You’ve given us a lot to think about, guys.