Oh, nerf herder — Carrie Fisher actually regretted revealing her affair with Harrison Ford

While Carrie Fisher is best remembered for her quick wit and unflinching honesty, according to her brother Todd, there’s one instance in which the legendary actress and writer wishes she hadn’t been so honest.

A little over a month before her death in December 2016, Carrie Fisher dropped a major bombshell nearly 40 years in the making. In her memoir, The Princess Diarist, Carrie revealed that she and Harrison Ford had an affair when they were filming Star Wars: A New Hope in 1977 —  when she was 19 years old and Ford was 33 and married with two kids.

The revelation about their three-month secret affair — which even Mark Hamill denied knowing about — naturally became a massive story during her Princess Diarist press tour.

But in a memoir of his own, Todd Fisher revealed that his late sister regretted writing about the affair in her book.

Per E! News, in My Girls: A Lifetime with Carrie and Debbie, an account of life with his famous mom (Debbie Reynolds) and sister, Todd writes, “What Harrison and everyone else may not know is that Carrie went to mom right after the book became such a big deal and said, ‘You were right, I shouldn’t have told that story.’ For what it’s worth, Harrison, she really did regret telling the story of that affair.”

For his part, Ford has stayed relatively silent about the news of the affair, save acknowledging to GQ in 2017 that he’d had advance warning that it was going to be included in the memoir (he added that he hadn’t read it). Clearly reluctant to speak publicly about the affair and Carrie’s decision to write about it, the Patriot Games actor would only say, “It was strange. For me.”

In My Girls, Todd also opens up about his last conversation with Carrie and his mother, whom he believes “willed” herself to be with Carrie one day after her death.