Calling all Borderline Vegetarians

Hi, my name is Gabriela and I’m an on and off vegetarian.

Where’s my support group? Does anyone understand the scrutiny and ridicule we borderline vegetarians go through? I mean really, even though our moral compass is always active, we have our weaknesses. I’m here to present to you evidence of our bleeding hearts and sensitivity which then in turn leads us to becoming vulnerable enough to act on heinous and ravenous crimes motivated by hunger and temptation.

The Plea: Vulnerability made me do it. The succulent shrimp and roasted chicken that taunts us at the store… The roast duck that’s on the menu that’s dripped in luscious paprika seasonings… The lightly battered cod fish that slips down your throat with a rare and satisfying desire. Wow, #foodporn, is real. I feel a bold and italicized, ‘anyway’ creeping in on us. There it is. Thanks for joining us.

In my defense, I was clean for 2 years of my college career. Some claim it is because I was financially unstable, while others saw me as crusader for all animals on our planet. Okay, nobody thought I was a crusader. I just said that. Just now. I may have also thought it at that time. I also lost a crap load of weight. I guess I’m straying from my main points. Remind me again why I’d never be a good attorney? Also, remind me why I’m pretending this is a court case and I’m representing myself? (rhetorical on both counts).

The point of the matter is, it feels beyond deceitful to have a voice in the world of vegetarians and it feels dishonorable to have a voice in the world of meat eaters. Is there no place in the world for the borderline vegetarian? I’ll be the first one to admit to having a soft spot for Wilbur, Mary’s little lamb (& in retrospect, I don’t really feel Mary, if that’s even her name, was the best caretaker, what was she, 6?) and all the other fictional animals (that I strongly believe were probably slain at the end of the story). Accusatory, I know. But I have my doubts.

So I hereby ask you kindly to judge me not for the food that I intake, but for the thoughts that I inhabit. Can I not be sensitive about animals 100% of the time and eat them 50%- 65% of the time? Nonsensical, I suppose. I believe in the justice for animals and being kind to all, but I also believe in eating them, sometimes.

I’m sorry, Lamb Chop. Vulnerability made me eat you. And I probably won’t eat you tomorrow.

The people rest, your honor.

By Gabriela Medina

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