My wedding changed the way I saw my body—and not in the way I expected

The months leading up to my wedding seem like a blur now because time went so fast. But one of the biggest regrets I have now, three months after my wedding day, was that I spent so much time fretting about my weight. The constant worry about my weight took away from the fun things about planning my wedding.

At the beginning of the year I set myself a challenge to lose 30 pounds for my big day. This would make me happy surely? I would weigh a bit less on the day, and I would feel a whole lot better about myself.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. By setting the challenge, I put even more pressure on myself. I just made wedding planning more stressful by being determined to look different because that’s just what you do when you are about to get married right? Wrong!

If ever there was a time self-doubt and self-hate come up and kick your butt, it is when you are about to get married. Will I find a dress I love in my size? How will I look in my pictures? What will those who haven’t seen me for a while think of me when they see me? How am I going to hide the lumps and bumps I don’t like?

Unsurprisingly, I failed at my challenge and a few weeks before I was about to walk down the aisle. I looked in the mirror and saw myself as still overweight and a soon-to-be bride. What happened in those few weeks was an eye-opener, though: The more I got used to the idea of being a bride the size I was, the more I realized how silly the whole idea of changing myself was. I wasn’t doing it for myself; I was doing it for everybody else. I had found a dress I absolutely loved, that fitted me. And I was marrying a man who gave me his all knowing what I looked like and what I weighed. So what was the actual goal of losing the weight? It wasn’t for my health.

The day came, I walked down the aisle. And you know what? It was absolutely, utterly fantastic. I felt beautiful. I was beautiful. And I wasn’t any thinner than I am now.

The whole wedding process is supposed to be a happy time, but we put so much pressure on ourselves to not only have the perfect day, but also to be perfect on the day. I’m telling you now: You’re not going to be perfect on your wedding day. You’re going to be you which is so much better. Weddings will be magical no matter what the bride and groom wear, and what they weigh. It’s a day to love and appreciate you both.

Being a plus size bride didn’t matter on my wedding day. Whatever size you are, I promise you, on that happy day, the last thing on your mind is going to be the number on the scale.

Kerry Sharper is a quirky South African girl who has a tendency to eat and write her feelings. A lover of words, Kerry spends most of her time with her nose in a book or bashing at a keyboard. She is on a personal journey to live simply and spread love. Describers herself as obsessive and a true social media, shopping and TV series addict! You can follow her on Twitter @kerrysharper and Instagram: kerryberrysharper

[Image via Shutterstock]

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