This woman’s review of bikini wax strips is relatable, detailed, and downright terrifying
Hannah Scorer bought an at-home waxing kit and decided to give it a go on her bikini area. But instead of the bikini wax strips doing their job and removing her hair, they stuck to her thighs and were almost impossible to remove. So, she posted a review of her bikini wax experience on Facebook, and while it’s hilarious and entertaining to read, it’s also all too real.
The review is addressed to health and beauty retailer Boots — the creator of said wax strips.
"Boots, we need to have a word," Scorer wrote in her Facebook post. "These are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world. I haven't tried all the other wax strips, but I'm confident I don't need to. That's how bad these are."
She goes on to list the things that could have done a better job at waxing her bikini area: candle wax; beeswax; wax crayons; Nightmare on Wax, the electronic music composer; and House of Wax, the 2005 film starring Paris Hilton.
Scorer followed the instructions on the back of the pack and pulled off the strips, suffering through “childbirth-level pain.”
Naturally, she expected the hair to be removed, but instead she saw that her hair wasn’t only still there, a thick layer of wax was also matted into her thigh, covering the hair.
"Have you touched that wax when it becomes separated from its strip?" Hannah asked Boots. "It is so sticky it could have held together the original Sugababes line-up. My bikini line was like the dancefloor of a really questionable club at 3am."
Using one of the provided moisturizer wipes, she attempted to wipe off the wax, except it didn’t work out as she had hoped. “I took one of the wipes and started trying to rub off the wax/glue/melted Push Pop hybrid,” she continued. “However, instead of rescuing my skin, the wipe becomes trapped and bits of it tear off and firmly adhere to my waxy, furry skin, like a series of tiny surrender flags.”
Since she was waxing for a date that night, she used oils, two razor heads, a shower, and tons of exfoliation to finally remove the wax from her skin.
"My fanny looks like a bright pink newborn panda, but at least the hair is gone. So is my will to live and half the products in my bathroom, but at this point I'll salvage a win wherever I can."
Scorer requested that Boots remove the strips from all shelves and “gift them to the construction industry as an alternative to cement. Or pass them on to local councils looking for some anti-climb paint. Anything that doesn’t involve hair removal really.”
LOL. Glad it all worked out in the end — but ouch.