“Big Bang Theory” actress Melissa Rauch pens deeply personal essay about announcing a pregnancy after a miscarriage
Fancy, over-the-top pregnancy announcements are always met with overwhelming joy and generally positive emotions from those on the receiving end of the news, but they can oftentimes mask the difficulties expectant mothers experience before going public with their pregnancies.
A touching illustration of that point comes courtesy of Melissa Rauch’s pregnancy announcement, which The Big Bang Theory actress presented in the form of an emotional personal essay that paints a painfully accurate picture of what it’s like to tell the world you’re going to be a mother after you’ve suffered a miscarriage.
In a personal account shared with Glamour, Rauch revealed that she and her husband Winston are expecting a baby this fall.
Despite being incredibly overjoyed, the actress admits that it’s been somewhat challenging to open up about her pregnancy.
"Here is the only statement regarding my pregnancy that doesn’t make me feel like a complete fraud," she writes. "Melissa is expecting her first child. She is extremely overjoyed, but if she’s being honest, due to the fact that she had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, she’s pretty much terrified at the moment that it will happen again. She feels weird even announcing this at all, and would rather wait until her child heads off to college to tell anyone, but she figures she should probably share this news before someone sees her waddling around with her mid-section protruding and announces it first."
Rauch also addresses how losing a baby caused her to experience profound grief, guilt, and feelings she partially blames on the implications carried by the word miscarriage itself:
"To me, it immediately conjures up an implication that it was the woman's fault, like she somehow 'mishandled the carrying of this baby.' F that so hard, right in its patriarchal nut-sack. It's not that a better name would make it less awful to go through. But for a while, my husband and I just started saying to each other — without any judgment or acrimony to the baby, of course — that the baby 'bailed' instead."
The 37-year-old is careful to note that she doesn’t expect anyone who makes a “cheery” announcement to always include sobering details about their experience, but we’re thankful for her candor and willingness to publicly address such an emotionally complex issue.
Her openness sends a message to expectant mothers who feel pressure to project a completely one-dimensional outlook of utter happiness when many of them are dealing with far more complicated feelings.
Congrats to Rauch and her husband! Here’s to a safe and healthy pregnancy.