How bestie conversations change from your teens to your 20s

Welcome to Besties Week! We’re kicking off the release of our first HelloGiggles book, A Tale of Two Besties, with an epic celebration of friendship and stories about friendship. Read an excerpt of the book, buy a copy, catch us on our cross-country book tour, and share your photos from our events by tagging us @hellogiggles #ATaleofTwoBesties.

In the meantime, join the party right here. All week long, our contributors will be sharing stories, essays and odes to their very own partners-in-crime. Read, laugh, cry (because you’re laughing so hard) and share with your bestie!

I met my closest friends in middle and high school. We grew up (and still live) in a small town just outside of San Diego, CA. In small towns you meet people in pre-school and still talk to them periodically, but the yearly chats or grocery store run-ins typically end with “we should get together…” or “do this again soon.” But three of my closest friends and I have been active in each other’s lives since the day we met. All were in my wedding; I am “fairy god-mother” to one’s child, and to one’s cat.

While our conversations have totally changed over the past decade, in a weird way, they also haven’t. We still talk about complex life problems, it’s just that those problems are little different than they were. Here’s what I mean:

Complex life problems, then and now

At 15: Freaking out before a big Spanish test and having a whisper conference with the all-important question: “Dude. Did you study for this?”

At 25: Sending a panicked text message about a work problem: “Dude. I have to brief the VP in ten minutes and I don’t have all the details yet.”

Finding time between family obligations to see each other

At 15: On a corded phone in the middle of the night, again, probably whispering “What time does your mom get home tomorrow? Maybe we can hang out with boys before then.”

At 25: Via text: “Just got off work and have an hour before I need to cook dinner, can I stop by and say “hi” before you have to put the little one to bed?”

Sorting out our beauty conundrums

At 15: “I’m not sure if I want to dye my hair blue or black.” “Black is cool, and what are you using to spike it? Blue glue or egg whites?”

At 25: “My hair gets more dry and frizzy every month, can you recommend a salon? What kind of sunscreen do you use?”

Fashion advice from mom

At 15: “Ugh, Mom is taking me shopping for ‘appropriate’ work clothes.”

At 25: “Best news ever: Mom took me shopping for appropriate work clothes!”

Coffee is a must, not a maybe

At 15: “I got a job making coffee, I can drink as much coffee as I want AND I make $6 an hour!”

At 25: “I’ve had 5 cups of coffee and I still feel like I’m dying.”

Dealing with real life financial responsibilities

At 15: “I had to file for taxes this year! They didn’t tell me that when I started working at a coffee shop?!”

At 25: “I finally broke down and filed my taxes through an accountant this year. It was kind of nice to just bring her everything. Plus it’s a relief to not have to worry about itemizing everything myself.”

What you’re up to at night 

At 15: On a school night: “What are you doing tonight? Bad Religion is playing at Soma.”

At 25: On a Saturday “Not really sure. Kinda beat up from working. Maybe let’s just Netflix and order pizza?”

What you do with your paycheck

At 15:  “I have saved up 4 paychecks to buy a new electric guitar. It’s a Schechter Diamond Series, and I’m obsessed with it.”

At 25: “Not sure if I want to do more than 6% in my 401k. Should I be worrying about long term retirement or figuring out a way to put a downpayment on a house?”

The kind of cars you’re totally eyeing

At 15: “I got my first car!! It gets 13 miles to the gallon and only has 80,000 miles on it!”

At 25: “I’m leaning towards the Honda Accord Hybrid for the gas milage. Pretty nice not to have to fill up at the pump more than once a week.”

Figuring out your romantic dilemmas

At 15: “I likethem, but I don’t like like them.”

At 25: “Should you marry them? Well let me ask you one question: Would your relationship survive the zombie apocalypse?”

So maybe some things have changed, but what hasn’t is the fact that we’re still there for each other after all these years, ready to answer any questions about love, work, and—obviously—coffee.

Cathryn “Cat” Curry is an ostentatious introvert who finds serenity in a well-organized spreadsheet, climbing giant rocks, or binge-watching Netflix with her bestie.  Chat with Cat at her blog, or on Instagram/Twitter @CurriedCat.