The best advice our besties have ever given us

We’re kicking off the release of our first HelloGiggles book, A Tale of Two Besties, with an epic celebration of friendship and stories about friendship. Read an excerpt of the book, buy a copy, catch us on our cross-country book tour, and share your photos from our events by tagging us @hellogiggles #ATaleofTwoBesties.

It often feels like our besties are beacons of light, guiding us through every little thing that life throws at us. They’re the first people we turn to when things are going terribly and when things are going great. We can always count on them to show up when we need them most, to let us ruin their favorite t-shirt with our tears, and to make us laugh harder than we ever thought possible. But more than that, our BFFs seem to always be full of infinite wisdom, and they always share it with us when we need it most. So, in celebration of these most glorious humans, the HelloGiggles staff collected some of the best advice our own besties have given us.

You have to learn to live with regrets, because they’re just a part of life.

We all make mistakes, and it’s only human that we should feel awful about them for a little while. But ultimately, killing ourselves over our regrets will only keep us from moving forward. Dwelling on our regrets helps no one.

A little sugar goes a long way.

It pays to be kind, and people tend to enjoy helping nice people more than they do jerks. Why add any more unnecessary meanness in the world? (Subsequently, this piece of advice also applies to cooking — cheap tomato sauce is greatly improved with a little sprinkle of sugar.)

Don’t be afraid to be alone. Take time to know yourself outside of others.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being alone and enjoying your own company. You learn so much about yourself without the distraction of other people around you, and end up fostering a sense of self-love and independence.

It’s OK to pay out of pocket for a shrink. Don’t be cheap with your brain. 

We still have miles to go when it comes to how we talk about mental health — but nonetheless, taking care of your brain is just as important as taking care of your body. If you feel like you need professional help, there are few things as worthy of a “splurge” as your mental well-being.

When you want to tell a cat you love her, look at her and blink slowly.

Cats can be fickle creatures — but that doesn’t stop us from loving them with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. The next time you want to tell your feline just how much you adore her, try this out.

Write about what things feel like, not just what they are.

“Show, don’t tell” was drilled into us in school — but there’s a reason that’s the case, and it’s not just for the sake of good writing. (But, yes, it totally makes for better writing.) Given how much we communicate via text and the Internet nowadays, your point is always much more powerful and relatable if you approach it from beyond a factual perspective.

When dealing with conflict, don’t change who you are to match who you’re in conflict with.

It’s easy to spiral and escalate when we’re fighting with someone, and a huge part of that is if you begin to feed into one another’s rage. Stick to your guns and don’t let how someone else deals with conflict change how you deal with it. Doing this makes it a lot easier to pull through and resolve the problem at hand.

You have to make your own decisions — even if they’re bad ones.

There’s only so much a BFF can do to keep you from doing something that they know will likely end in disaster. Ultimately, you have to go your own way and make your own mistakes. Luckily, they’ll still be there to help pick up the pieces.

Life is too short to spend your time talking s–t about other people.

Instead of adding more bad voodoo to the universe, take the high road and do something that brings you joy instead. And if the person in question is really that horrible/ridiculous/etc, why give them the satisfaction of knowing they’ve affected you? Surround yourself with people you love and respect.

Always have a Plan A, and not a Plan B, because it forces you to make Plan A work.

The logic here is basically, if you don’t have a backup plan, you have to do everything you can to make your original plan work. Don’t settle for less than what you want or deserve just because obstacles get in the way.

Push the boundaries on what you read and how you write.

By expanding what you consume, you end up expanding how you think and how you process the world. Read things you’re not normally drawn to, read opinions you disagree with — and it will only make you a smarter, more open-minded human (and, if you happen to write, a much better writer).

Every relationship needs breathing room after it’s ended before you can try to be friends again.

Similarly, it’s totally OK if you have zero interest in being their friend. . .  ever. But if you do have interest in trying to get a friendship out of your breakup, give it time and space. No one can flip a switch and go from romantic to friendly intentions overnight — you need time to process your feelings and disconnect a little.

You were a whole person before them. You’re still a whole person after them.

When you lose your so-called other half, it’s hard not to feel like they’ve taken everything but the kitchen sink along with them. But never forget that you were a complete person before they came along, and even if you want to need them, you don’t need to need them.

It’s OK to leave a job that makes you unhappy.

Of course, this is very circumstantial — often, we can’t leave the jobs we hate, because we still need to pay the rent. But if the only thing that’s holding you back from finding another job is guilt or fear of change, let those feelings go. You deserve to be treated with respect, and to fight for a better job.

We’re difficult women. Of course we’re going to have difficult relationships — and that’s OK.

This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, as well. When you’re a complicated human, that complexity is going to be reflected in most aspects of your life. There’s nothing wrong with you just because your relationships don’t come as easily to you or aren’t as simple as they seem to be for other people. You deserve someone who appreciates and loves you for all your complexities. Never settle for less.

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