Behold, Scientists Have Discovered the Hand of God!

The girls are out to play — you know, because Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will be hosting the Golden Globes. While some of your show’s favorites will never experience the glory of winning that coveted statuette, there’s still plenty of competition. And with the cocktails flowing, there’s bound to be some unexpected craziness.

So, let’s get the festivities started early with a toast to zero-time-nominee, “The Week In WHAT?!

Talk to the Hand

“Houston, we’ve found God.” Well, not exactly. NASA’s Nuclear Spectroscopic Telescope Array (NuSTAR) snapped a few Instagram worthy pics of a cluster of stars hanging out approximately 17,000 light years away from Earth. Scientists are kvelling over the cluster because it appears to form the shape of a hand. Despite uncertainty as to whether the shape is real or merely an optical illusion, they’ve even gone as far as referring to it as the “Hand of God”. For someone almighty, you’d think he’d have a bigger thumb.

Please Pack Your Spice And Go

Cinnamon addicts, you’ve been warned! Authorities dropped a bombolini on a pair of Danish pastry chefs for violating the European Union’s spice rules with their recipe for cinnamon rolls. It turns out the EU limits the amount of cinnamon in recipes because it contains coumarin, a chemical compound known to cause liver damage when ingested in excess. The bakers are fighting back, lamenting that officials in Sweden are more lenient and changing the recipe would greatly impact their pastries. Meanwhile, former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg is probably mourning a missed opportunity.

Shove(d) It Up Your WHAT?!

Here’s something you shouldn’t try at home. A man in China went to the hospital with a bad case of stomach pains but said he had no idea as to what was causing them. After doctors ran a few tests, they found a couple of oddities on an x-ray: a glass bottle and a piece of steel wire in his abdomen. When confronted with the proof, the man admitted he placed the bottle inside of himself and lost the wire too while trying to fish it back out. Following surgery, doctors revealed the foreign objects pierced the man’s bowel in various places. Oh, the places some bottles go.

Playing the Kosher Card?

Prisoners in Florida are attempting to make the food supply in their homes away from home their proverbial bitch by demanding kosher food after a judge ruled that the system must provide them. Allegedly, the kosher meals offered by the state taste better than standard penitentiary fare. Unfortunately for Governor Rick Scott’s plan to cut the prison system budget, the requested kosher meals run about $4 per prisoner per day. By comparison, the going rate for non-kosher prison food is around $1.50. FYI: most of the 4,417 requests are not from Jewish inmates. L’chaim!

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Shutterstock.