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Bronwyn Isaac
June 07, 2017 1:52 pm

Hello, are you sitting alone in a very dark cave?! Because if you aren’t already, we suggest you find one before ingesting this wild piece of news. A recent report from CNBC revealed that a small pocket of rich people are now getting anti-aging blood transfusions from teenagers as an attempt to evade death, or at least, live a longer and sexier existence. Similar to the vampire facial Kim Kardashian got, where her own blood was injected into her face, this new anti-aging treatment draws from someone else’s blood — teens.

This whole nightmare is the brainchild of the biotech startup Ambrosia, who have already gathered 100 customers who are over 35, according to CNBC. And, yes, they are down to inject themselves with teenagers’ blood in the hopes of sweet semi-eternal youth. Although, CNBC noted that Dr. Jesse Karmazin, the founder of Ambrosia, mentioned that it does not claim their treatments can cure aging.

This is giving us Sissy Spacek in Carrie vibes

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The injections cost $8,000 (and your soul), and come with the regular risks of blood transfusions, which include allergic reactions. All of the blood is purchased from blood banks that sell donations to health care companies, so the high schoolers donating their blood aren’t aware that it’s going to a healthy, moneyed person seeking immortality.

We have a feeling Buffy would feel weird about this whole trend.

While the abstract idea of becoming a dangerous vampire queen may seem appealing, we’d be lying if we pretended to not be terrified by this whole concept.

However, a report from New Beauty shared that trial participants have seen positive results thus far, including lower cholesterol and lower carcinogens.

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We should also note there are currently no control groups, and there has yet to be concrete studies and confirmation from the scientific community.

Now, there is a place catering specifically to your cravings for teen blood.

via giphy

The future of healthcare and anti-aging technology is horrifying.

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