Anna Gragert
April 18, 2016 6:03 pm
Walt Disney Pictures

There are those moments in life that call for celebration. You get a new job, get married, give birth to a baby, buy a house, buy a car, buy an expensive piece of furniture… or, ya know, you get a haircut. Alright, so that last one is a bit anticlimactic, but let’s be honest with each other: Haircuts matter.

A haircut can change your life, instantly infusing your being with confidence. After hitting a rough patch on the road of life, a haircut can help to steady your course. Just a few snips and you’re a brand new person… unless no one notices. (We’ve all, unfortunately, been there.)

When someone doesn’t notice your haircut – even if you’re the most confident person on this planet – things definitely get awkward. Your inner monologue grows in strength and you begin to go through the following stages…

1. You get your hair cut and feel like a flamingo amidst a flock of pigeons in a commercial for feather shampoo.

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2. As you’re leaving the salon, you run your hands through your hair and ask, “Is this really mine?”

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3. Then, you bump into a friend. You smile, prepared to say, “Yeah, I just got a haircut. No big deal, but thanks for noticing!”

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4. They say nothing. They ask about your family, your work, your pets – but they say nothing about your new/improved cut.

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5. At first, you’re confused. Maybe they need a new prescription for their glasses?

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6. Next, you wonder: Are they testing me? Do they hate me? Do they hate my haircut? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

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7. You start to wonder if you should say something, but would that be weird? Then again, wouldn’t that be ignoring the elephant in the room?

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8. The conversation starts to wind up and your friend begins to go. You decide not to say anything, but you are now obsessively running your fingers through your hair. Will they take the hint?

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9. You give them one last chance, your eyes wide with hope.

10. They say nothing. The silence surrounds you and your new hair.

11. This is why you have trust issues. Oh well. Someone will notice eventually, right? Right?!

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12. *flips hair*

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